Thread:ChazmanianDevil/@comment-26210095-20160731155651/@comment-27097330-20160731172242

Pretty good! Just a few things.

1. Okay, so first, you might want to clear up the beginning, as it sounds like you start after the Dwarven War, then go into the Dwarven War.

2. A logistics problem. By this point the Numenoreans already had colonies all over Harad. How did they not yet find the empire in the jungle? Maybe a situation where they were cut off from trade, and therefore the riches of the jungle, which totally pissed Ar-Pharazon off?

3. That detail of how Amuzet unified the tribes. Not sure if it's better if he unified them or if the empire exited before that and he just greatly expanded it. Either way, might be best to cut it out of the description.

4. If we're going to do this we really need a Far Harad map...