User blog:Aramirtheranger/My personal list of Star Wars movies from worst to best

9: The Star Wars Holiday Special.... MAKE IT STOP!!! George has been quoted as saying that if he had the time he would track down every copy of this movie and smash it with a hammer. I borrowed one of those unofficial copies from a friend, and I forced myself to watch it all. The only vaguely good part was the animated portion where we meet Boba Fett.

8. Attack of the Clones. The romance is rushed, Dooku seems like he was shoehorned in at the last minute, the dialogue is even dryer, coarse, and irritating than in the other prequels, and it gets everywhere. The best part is the action, but I still am upset that they gave Yoda a lightsaber. I think it makes sense for him to have one to teach, but he isn't the kind of character who fights with weapons. Though, it gets marginally better whenever Jango is talking.

7. The Clone Wars. I really liked this when it came out, but looking back it's not actually very good. However, the TV series that followed is still one of my favorite shows ever, but this is a movie countdown.

6. The Phantom Menace. I can list a few things wrong with this right off the bat.


 * Jar Jar Binks.


 * Jar Jar Binks stepping in Eopie shit.


 * Jar Jar Binks somehow destroying a tank via clumsiness.


 * Did I mention Jar Jar Binks?


 * Nine year old Anakin tries to flirt with 16-or-something Padmé. WTF. Did he hit puberty early or something?!


 * For some crazy reason they decided to kill Maul off instead of using him in the later films. This is actually a merchandising failure too, which really must bite corporate ass.

5. A New Hope. I don't have any particular beef with ANH, but I consider it the weakest of the originals due to its admittedly simple plot.

4. The Empire Strikes Back. I don't watch Empire very often because for some reason it just doesn't resonate with me. Bonus points for daddy issues.

3. The Return of the Jedi. While like many others, I find the Ewoks annoying sometimes, I don't loathe them. I actually kind of like the philosophical nature of steel yielding to wood. The atmosphere of the scene in the Emperor's throne room is incredible. When it begins, I get this feeling like someone just whispered "Welcome to Hell" in my ear. The duel is an amazing work. This fight is going on, but simultaneously arguably the best conversation in the whole saga. The Jabba sequence is many people's favorite part, but I find it funny how you could completely cut it and the plot would barely be changed. A good fix would have been for Jabba to keep his palace on Endor(with the Ewoks if merchandising truly demanded it), and have him try to recapture Han after the rebels rescue him from his thugs. Then when the Empire attacked, he could decide "Screw it. I'm protecting my turf!" and order his mercenaries to help the rebels. Imagine the awesomeness of Boba Fett getting sent in with the front lines of Jabba's forces and screwing some stormtrooper ass.

2. The Revenge of the Sith. I can't really explain this, I just love Revenge. Maybe it has something to do with this being the first of the movies I saw. It was my favorite until, well, this morning.

1. The Force Awakens. Go see it and see for yourself why... 😃