User blog:Morgoth the first dark lord/I ALMOST DIED?????

(Note: DqrkneZz is the name I go by in other communities and the gramer is purposely bad)
__________________________________________________________________________________________

====(WARNING: This awesome sauce story is completely fictional and made completely in my own imagination. Any connection with existing people is totally random and even if you think it's not it is. Because this is my story which means my rules.)====

(WARNING v3: This story may cause you anxiety and extreme stress and if you suffer from heart problems it is not wise to read it)
So once upon a time there was a guy named DqrkneZz or simply Dark. Dark wasn't as dark as his name portrayed him to be, he was simply an edgy teenager who liked to overspice things, if you know what I mean. Hell, his skin color was as white as the best cow milk in the whole omniverse. But! Dark was not a simple teenager, he had some kind of special powers given to him by Lucifer because he had sold his soul to him. (Too much edginess leads to bad decisions) Those powers included: 1) Making bad memes 2) Being ironic as all of mother russia and 3) Having the ability to watch Rick and Morty and understand all the jokes which need over 666 IQ to be understood by a mere human. To simplify, Dark was awesome.

Because of his ability to understand the epic amazing jokes in Richard and Mortimer Dark noticed something...Something odd, weird, strange, peculiar, extravagant. He noticed that if we connect all the pixels used in 13 episodes of Rick and Morty multiplied by the eyes of all characters and divided by the times Richard used the word 'That' in 9 episodes we get the number which explains'It. Now, if you are a mere human you may not understand what It 'means and I won't bother to explain because I actually care about you. If you learn what It means your view about the world may change completely. You can turn from a weeb to an Illuminati Overlord. Pretty amazing huh? Yes, I thought so. But let's be back on our story. Since Dark learnt the truth about It she knew he had to do something about it...

So, Dark decided that the only way to stop It was to gather the best fighters from the whole world (who are totally not rip-offs from Lord Of the Rings characters) In the dark night of 4th of November 2017 they all sat in the velvet sofas of the Black House of America. Aragorm the king of Gomdor, Gamli son of Glain, Legalas the MorningWood elf and Sauran the White Lord of NotMordor. Seeing that his plan was going perfectly, Dark decided to tell them the reason of their council. Dark grinned and tried to initiate his speech...BUT, how? How could he forget what he wanted to say? Dark grinned again and remembered it and then he tried again to initiate his speech...BUT, how? How could he forget what he wanted to say for a second time? Implausible. Well, needless to say that this continued for 69 hours until a thundering sound interrupted Dark's pitiful attempts of being smart and made him fall from his chair in slow motion to the harsh floor. Ouch dark, you gotta be more careful. THEN, a demonic voice was heard and none other than Danny Devito appeared. He wanted to stop Dark from saving the world...But how could he do such a thing? What a heartless douche. Danny Devito tried to kick Dark who was still down with his muscular legs but failed, fell in the floor and died.