User blog:High Prince Imrahil/A Wiki Family New Year - Pt. 1

A/N: This is either a masterpiece or a train wreck. I'm genuinely not sure which.

Special thanks to Dragon, who helped me with the inspiration, and for Faenor, who helped me with the lines of, ah, Faenor :P

Also, keep in mind this story was originally meant to be posted on New Year's Day, and that's when it's set.







HIGH PRINCE IMRAHIL PRESENTS:

 

THE WIKI FAMILY - THE NEW YEAR'S SCRAMBLE

 -

The sunlight cut into the room like an explosion, drawing Imrahil from the sweet relief of sleep, into the harsh world of reality. His stomach was churning, his eyes itched, and a headache throbbed like the drummer from "Rush" was pounding on his brain.



"faksdjhgakjdgf." he muttered, daring to open his eyes. He immediately regretted the decision, as he was assaulted by blinding sunlight.



"Awake already, are you, Imrahil?" asked a familiar voice from above. Imrahil recognized the voice as Travian's, but it was impossibly loud, and he drew a pillow over his ears.



<p class="MsoNormal">"Travian... I feel like I'm hung-over."

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"That's probably because you're hung-over." came the calm reply.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"Ah."

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">There was a beat of silence.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"Travian?"

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"Yes?"

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"Why am I hung-over if I don't drink?"

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"Because Tina spiked the punch."

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Imrahil groaned loudly. He managed to open his eyes again, and sit up in his bed. He was in his own familiar room, with Travian standing at his side, wearing a bathrobe and a concerned expression. The younger brother took a red-ish brown drink from the nightstand, and handed it to Imrahil. "Drink that," he said, "I got the recipe from Indomitable. You should feel better in a little while."

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Imrahil took the drink gratefully, and began drinking the stuff. "Travian do you know anything about what happened last night? I'm a complete blank right now."

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"Can't say I do," replied Travian thoughtfully, "I wasn't actually there. You went to the party with Shade and a few others, but I stayed home. You came back and went straight to bed."

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Imrahil slowly rose to his feet and limped towards the door. "Alright. Let's get down to breakfast, eh? Maybe I can talk with Shade and figure out what the blazes happened."

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">--

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">With an absurd amount of difficulty, Imrahil found his way into the kitchen. Shade was already at the table, mindlessly shifting scrambled eggs back and forth across his plate. Faenor was reading the newspaper and sipping some tea in his usual tactful silence.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"Good morning, Shade." said Imrahil, wincing at the sound of his own voice.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Shade glared with a burning hatred that made Imrahil stumble backwards a few steps in surprise. "Good morning, eh? So that's how you great me, you traitorous fink!?"

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Imrahil flinched at the volume. "Shade, er... I don't actually know what happened last night?"

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"The heck you don't know, you son of a lymph-eating communist! You freaking stole my girl!"

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Imrahil's brain slowly roared to life, grinding away like a decrepit, yet surprisingly reliable DOS computer. Shade said I stole his girl '...processing information..''. Shade's girl is Tina... processing information... please wait... please wait... imrahil_brain.exe has crashed. We will notify you if a solution is available.... rebooting... you were apparently inebriated against your will... processing information... conclusion reached: you stole Tina from Shade.'''

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Imrahil blinked in shock, realizing the entirety of the situation. He went into a coughing fit, his eyes bugging out of his head.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">-

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">All was strangely quiet in the sprawling urban landscape of Columbus. The sky was grey, and a light snow descended slowly from the sky, as if leisurely taking its time in falling to the ground.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">But a single car drove through the silent streets, a beautiful blue Camaro. It slowed to a stop in front of the smooth green lawn of the Governor's Mansion.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">The low growl of the Camaro's engine faded out as Imrahil turned the car off. With slow, methodical movement (as eager as he was to find out what happened, he still had an awful headache) he slid out of the leather seat, and limped down the concrete pathway.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Standing in front of the massive oak door, he rang the doorbell.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">It was not a servant or a maid, but rather, Governor Dragon himself that opened the door. His hair was tussled as if he just woke up, and he was wearing a dark red bathrobe with slippers.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"Imrahil...?" he said, squinting in the early morning (11:34 AM) light.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"Er, hey, Dragon. This is kind of awkward, but I sort of passed out last night. Trav told me I went here for some sort of party?"

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Dragon snorted. "Party? Riot is more like it. Our family trashed this place."

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"Riiiiiiiiiight. And, er, do you remember... what I was doing?"

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Dragon cringed.

<p class="MsoNormal"> -

<p class="MsoNormal"> [13 Hours Previous - December 31st, 10:30 PM] 

<p class="MsoNormal"> -

<p class="MsoNormal">"Who the [CENSORED] let Reverent organize this party?!" screamed Dragon, trying to be heard over the loud music that vibrated through the entire house. "You! You, there! Get down off that chandelier!"

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"You alright?" asked Imrahil calmly, walking up beside his uncle with a cup of punch in each hand.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Dragon wiped his brow with a handkerchief, and then gratefully took the punch. "Thank you, my boy! This is a disaster!"

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"Hey, Dragon!" shouted Dave from the drawing room, "if I destroy a two hundred year-old antique, do I have to pay for it? Or does the state pay for it? Hypothetically, of course..."

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"Dave, I swear, if you destroyed Thomas Edison's desk... Dave?? DAVE, GET BACK HERE!!" Dave took off down the hall, as Dragon threw down his punch and sprinted off in pursuit. "GAH!"

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Imrahil merely rolled his eyes. "Why he ever chose to host the New Year's Eve party here is beyond me." he said to himself, walking across the room. Patrick, Aramir, Edacnik and Dark were standing quietly at the edge of the dance floor, so it was here that Imrahil went.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"Hey, guys. Having fun?"

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Edacnik snorted. "Ah, yes. Loud music, bad food, and awful tasting punch. This is definitely the place for me." he said, the sarcasm dripping from his voice.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">The other three murmured agreement.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"At least Shade seems to be having a good time." commented Imrahil, trying to be positive. Shade and Tina were dancing towards the center of the room, moving perfectly in time with the music. They had a surprising amount of talent.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"Admit it, Imrahil." said Patrick with a smirk. "You miss Tina."

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"What?!" exclaimed Imrahil, his head snapping back towards his younger brothers. "No! Of course not!"

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"Come on, Imrahil," continued Dark, "it's obvious. Every time you look at her, you start to zone out."

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"That's because I'm figuring out how to stop her from burning down the building!"

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"Same difference." said Patrick with a smug smile.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"If I liked her, I'd be with her right now!" declared the Imrahil. "I have twice the game that Shade does! If I wanted, she'd be back with me in a second!"

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">The other four brothers collapsed in fits of laughter, while Imrahil just glared. "You... you think you have more game then Shade?" gasped Edacnik in between gales of laughter. "That's... oh my goodness..."

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Imrahil stomped angrily. He took another long sip of the punch, and his mind became fuzzy, the sharp edges of worries washed away in a sea of warmth. Why shouldn't he prove it?! "That's it!" he yelled, "that's the last straw! I'm going to go out there and show you losers how it's done!" He turned on his heel and strutted towards the dance floor.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"Imrahil!" exclaimed Patrick, the threat sobering him, "Imrahil, we were just kidding!" but Imrahil was already too far away to hear.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Dark shrugged. "Imrahil did seem a little... odd. He isn't normally that touchy when we tease him."

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Patrick lifted his cup and took a brief sniff. "Uh, guys... I think this was spiked."

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"Uh, oh."

<p class="MsoNormal"> -

<p class="MsoNormal">' [PRESENT DAY] '

<p class="MsoNormal"> -

<p class="MsoNormal">"So that's what happened?" asked Imrahil, raising an eyebrow. Vague memories were starting to return to him, but nothing substantial.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"That's what Patrick told me, anyways." said Dragon. "Honestly I was too busy trying to salvage the General Sheridan display in the East Wing. Whoever decided to use his jacket as a bathmat..."

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"Well, what happened next?" exclaimed Imrahil.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"Oh! Sorry, my boy, I lost track of you. But I think you left the party with Faenor..."

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"Oh, look who finally decided to show up." said Faenor bitterly, glaring over the top of his newspaper.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Imrahil was back in his own kitchen, where Faenor was sitting in his usual place and drinking his usual tea.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"Faenor, I passed out. I don't even remember what happened!"

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"Given your level of inebriation, I don't doubt that." Faenor snapped, "I am greatly disappointed with you."

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"It was Tina! She spiked the punch! I just want to know what happened!"

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Faenor sighed deeply. "Look. You called be just after midnight, muttering something about needing a ride home. Like any devoted older brother, I borrowed Itallie's car and picked you up. What I never agreed to do, however, was drag home that orange-haired demon you were with!"

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"Tina was there?!" demanded Imrahil, his eyes suddenly sharp.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"I'm surprised you don't remember. You were hanging on her like a koala hangs on a... something or another." Faenor finished lamely, before glaring at Imrahil again. "Blast it, Imrahil! You have me so upset I can't even think of any good Faenoric Similes."

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"So what happened?!" demanded Imrahil, his eyes wide.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal"> [13 Hours Previous - December 31st, 12:30 PM] 

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Imrahil and Tina collapsed onto the floor of the Volvo, doubled over in laughter.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"And... the..." Imrahil couldn't even remember what he was going to say before he broke down into more gales of laughter.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"... I'm hungry." said Tina, suddenly very serious.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Imrahil sobered (figuratively, of course) at the thought of food. "Yeah... I could go for some flapjacks."

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"Let's go get some." replied Tina cheerfully. Imrahil turned to leave the car, only to find a brand new obstacle: the car door was in his way, completely separating him from the outside world. He halted, completely baffled by this turn of events.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"Let's think about this logica- hic -logically." said Imrahil. "We'll examine the situation just like- hic -pardon me, Eureka would."

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">There was another moment of silence.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"Let's identify the problem. We are inside. We need to get... outside... There's a door in the way."

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"We could go under it." supplied Tina.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Imrahil considered this a moment. "There's not enough- hic -room to fit under the door... It's too small."

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"We can't really go around it."

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"Right. Because then there's walls in the way."

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"And if we go over it, there's a ceiling in the way."

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">There were a few more moments of baffled silence, as they considered this great mystery.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"I have it!" exclaimed Imrahil, grinning victoriously. "We'll go through it!"

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Without hesitation, he seized the headrest and slammed it into the car door. It shattered, glass tinkling to the ground as the car rumbled onwards. Imrahil dived through the window and collapsed to the pavement. Tina nodded approvingly.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"Good work, Imrahil."

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Eureka would have been very proud of his problem-solving skills. Together they made their way down to the street, a vague sound like Faenor shouting behind them.

<p class="MsoNormal">

' [PRESENT DAY] '

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">To say Imrahil cringed was an understatement. He practically shriveled up and died.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"Lucky for you we were at a red light, or else you would've jumped out of a moving car." said Faenor sternly. "I just hope you have a good explanation prepared for Itallie."

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"And you have no idea where I went after that?!" exclaimed Imrahil.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"Well..." said Faenor slowly, "I think I did see you go into the 7/11 across the street..."

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">---

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">A quiet bell rang through the store, alerting that a customer had just walked through the door. Imrahil walked into the 7/11, grabbing a large case of Monster: Rehab. As he approached the counter, the employee glared. "You!" he exclaimed, "you have a lot of nerve showing up here after last night! You and that red-haired girl destroyed the whole-"

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"You know what? I don't even want to know." interrupted Imrahil irritably, massaging his temples. His headache had yet to subside. "Just check out the Monster, and I'll leave."

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">---

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Imrahil drove back home and slowly trudged up the steps towards his house. Apparently something awful had happened last night, and he didn't even know what it was.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">He set the case of Monster on the counter, then snapped open a can himself.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"Hey, Imrahil!" exclaimed a perky female voice.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Imrahil's head snapped around to see Tina standing in the back doorway, a bag of groceries in both hands. "Well, are you going to just stand there, or help me carry this stuff inside?" she enquired with a smile.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Imrahil just stood there for a moment, stunned. Out of all his options, he had never even thought of actually talking to Tina herself.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"Er, Tina..." Imrahil ventured, shifting awkwardly from one foot to the other, "do you actually remember what happened last night?"

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"Of course!" she exclaimed with a wide grin. She seemed genuinely happy. "We went to that lame party at your Uncle's house, then we left with Faenor and went to the 7/11. After that we went to the church and-"

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"THE CHURCH?!" shrieked Imrahil. His mind whirled with possibilities, and he felt faint.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"Don't you remember, Immy?" asked Tina with a giggle, "we got married. I'm your wife."