User blog:Berry6419/The Wiki Family: Berry and the Bacon Box

Well, about two months ago, I decided to try my hand at writing a small wiki family story based off of the recent events of the coup by Chaz and Argali. Here it is. Thanks to Imrahil and Chaz, who helped with proofreading and whatnot, and one to Shadow, who helped a lot.

Well, here it is. Also note that I pasted this from a google doc and don't know how to edit the formatting. ==Berry and the Bacon Box: The Unfryable Case == 

I’m back, from school, and​ thank goodness that ‘revolution’ is over. But now, I have an even bigger problem on my hands. After the unfortunate events of the recent coup by Chaz (who is currently making a pretty bad leader, and showing lots of red flags - literally, he has communist flags hanging everywhere.) someone had neglected to put the bacon back, or perhaps this was their plan all along, or whatever. The problem is, the bacon is gone, and I gotta track it down. I’m not Morgoth, but that’s probably a good thing. Morgoth and Dragon tend to mistake innocent treehouses (with wifi) for criminal headquarters too often for my taste, and their fees are appalling. The last time I wanted something found by Dragon or Morgoth, it cost me my half of the candy basket. Not that we even have a secret basket for that.

​

 I need to consider my options. What would Morgoth do? He’d go searching for evidence. So let’s not do that. Instead, let’s consider what I already know.

 The bacon went missing sometime before breakfast this morning, presumably during the start of the war between the forces of Imrahil and the forces of Chaz.

 The bacon is, or was, bacon. Obvious, yeah, but I might need it.

 The bacon has currently not been returned, and we’re currently unsure if it is still in the house. However, so far I haven’t smelt any frying, so I assume it hasn’t been eaten.

 The container which the bacon was formerly in has not moved. However, I haven’t got accurate records of fingerprints, and even if I did, they wouldn’t tell me anything because we’ve all used the bacon box before. Except Imrahil, of course.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">Now, the obvious suspects would be Imrahil, Chaz, and their respective forces. The problem is, because all the evidence points to Chaz, it would have been ridiculously easy for someone to simply take the bacon, put that note there, and wait. I need more evidence. First, to the house!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">My first order of business is to see if I can find the most obvious answer; that someone simply forgot to put the bacon back - or maybe is hiding it, or whatever. What I need to do is to take a sniff around the house, see if I can smell frying bacon or salt, or if I can find anyone who knows about the bacon. However, I can’t reveal to any possible suspects (AKA everyone except me and Shadow) that I am searching for it, so I’ll have to be discreet.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">The first place I will search, after turning the treehouse upside down, is my bedroom, because why not? It’s a good place to start, and someone might have hidden something there. Besides, I need to make sure I’m not secretly a Russian sleeper agent. Who knows how much that lot have infiltrated?

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">Nothing, of course. Next, all non-bedroom rooms - and then I ran into Morgoth.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“ <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;font-style:italic;white-space:pre-wrap;">On my way through the hallways, I ran into Berry. What could he be doing, at this late hour? <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Morgoth, it’s four in the afternoon and the sun is shining.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">That was Morgoth for you. Going through one of his detective phases made him really suspicious of perfectly innocent things - like me singing 99 bottles o’ enchanting on the wall in my treehouse with Shadow, playing Minecraft. Calling it a <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;font-style:italic;white-space:pre-wrap;">dark bastion against the grey sky <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">, of all things.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“More to the point is what you are doing here.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“ <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;font-style:italic;white-space:pre-wrap;">He was trying to interrogate me... heh. I had been through this kind of thing before. He would NEVER be able to break ME. <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">It was definitely going to be one of those days. Currently, I’m still not sure if deciding not to recruit Morgoth was a good thing or a bad thing. He might have been helpful, but this is Morgoth that we’re talking about. Either way, I walked away without his help.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">What’s that? Speaking. Speaking with a bad russian accent. Speaking with a bad russian accent, coming <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;font-style:italic;white-space:pre-wrap;">from Chaz’s bedroom! <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;"> I must investigate! Softly now… softly…

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">I briefly consider listening at the door, but decide against it. Let’s instead see if I can hear them from here.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“... recent events, I have been burdened with all the work! This will not stand! I will claim the luxuries of the house for the Revolution and deny them to my enemies!”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">Luxuries? Claim? What could be going on?

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Uh, Chaz, I really don’t like where this is heading.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">Another voice. Argali. So he was mixed up in this too.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“SILENCE! I AM THE LEADER OF THE REVOLUTION! YOU WILL NOT QUESTION ME!”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">More unnecessary proof that Chaz was the cause of all this trouble.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“We will take what we want, just as we have taken the bacon!”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">Now that’s more like it… uh, wait, what was that noise?

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Be silent. What is that?”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">I dunno about him, but to me it sounded like a demon summoning ritual. <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;font-style:italic;white-space:pre-wrap;">Not again…

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">It seemed like a good time to leave, quietly, before anyone walked out that door.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">I hastily make my exit, as silently as I can. The overly loud chanting that has started in the background is also helpful. Great, who has the holy water? Dammit, we’re low.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">I pass by Tyb’s room. Hey, that doesn’t look exactly like candle light. Uh, this could be bad. I had better hurry back to base. Time to gather up the evidence again.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">I climb the ladder, and knock on the door.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Eh? What’s the password?”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">Me and Shadow put in a password system for the treehouse a while back. So far as I know, it’s just to confuse everyone else.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“A Sense of Deja Vu.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Come in.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">I push open the door to the treehouse and walk in.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Brother, we have a small problem.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“What, is Tybereous trying to summon a demon again? Seriously! This is really getting out of hand! I think the holy water’s starting to run low again.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Make that two small problems. I still haven’t been able to find the bacon, and I’ve received some pretty damning evidence that it was Chaz.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">Shadow sighs.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Of course. He clearly hasn’t got much practice, with the note and all that. What evidence, brother?”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">At this point, I lower my voice.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“I heard him talking about it. It seems that he has this ‘master plan’ to take all the luxuries of the house, starting with the bacon.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“What will we do about this?” asks Shadow, also whispering.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Have you got access to some sort of quiet recording device?”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">…

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">Attempt #1:

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">I sneak. Quietly, now. Softly, softly. Cautiously. Every precaution must be taken, and I must keep an eye on everything.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">I acquired a few tips about sneaking from a certain elf, so while I’m not exactly an assassin, I can certainly sneak well enough to get by. Let’s hope this works. Voice recorder, activate.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">As I approach Chaz’s room, I listen. I need to make sure both Chaz and Argali are in there. I really don’t want to get Argali into this, but if I must, I must. Although I’ll see if I can eliminate his voice from the recording with some editing. Now, softly, softly…

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">Uh… what’s that?

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;font-style:italic;white-space:pre-wrap;">“I listened in, quiet as a mouse and twice as careful. They had not heard me. This way, I could find out about their diabolical plan.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">Time to scramble out of here, before Morgoth notices.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">Attempt #2:

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">Let’s try that again, shall we? Morgoth isn’t anywhere? Dragon isn’t anywhere? Voice recorder, activate. Uh, hang on, what? No, I don’t want to go to google play store. No, I don’t want to upgrade to premium. Just - just activate the damn voice recorder. Dammit. I think I may need to postpone this.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">Attempt #3:

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">I walked, warily, in. I had to be careful. All members of the house accounted for, Chaz in his room, activate voice recording device. Hang on a second. What’s that smell?

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">Smoke, spices, oil, burnt egg… oh. No. This… not good. Emergency. Because it’s either one side has tried to make an ultimate bio-weapon to use against the other and succeeded… or Aurae finally persuaded Imrahil to cook. EVACUATE THE HOUSE!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">After that disastrous event, we had to clear out the house, open all the windows, activate as much air conditioning as was possible, and stand somewhere else for a very long time. And then it rained, which meant that we had to seek shelter, so everyone was trying to get into the treehouse but we wouldn’t let them because they didn’t know the password, so eventually a good number of them just stood under the treehouse.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">A knock. That was probably Dark. By which I mean DD2.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Password?” The password system. Keeps them out and us in.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Uh… Edhellith?” Yep, it was Dark.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“No. Shoo.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">Another knock.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Hey, can I come in?” That was Code. Might be a bit dangerous.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Password?”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Uh… Fidgeting Writer.” Thought so. If he knows our password system, we might need to change it.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Close enough. Come in.” I walked up and opened the door. Code entered.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">Another knock.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“ <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;font-style:italic;white-space:pre-wrap;">I approached the tree house, seeking entry. The rain gave me the perfect excuse to enter their secret hideout and find out what they were plotting inside. <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">Ugh. Morgoth, trying to get in.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Password?”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“ <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;font-style:italic;white-space:pre-wrap;">I was unaware of their password system, but as I considered it, I decided that the word used by the last person to enter should suffice. <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Fidgeting Writer.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“No. Shoo.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“What? But that was the password!”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“ <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;font-style:italic;white-space:pre-wrap;">Was <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;"> being the keyword here. Leave.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“ <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;font-style:italic;white-space:pre-wrap;">Thwarted, I turned and left the tree house.This simply would not do. I needed a way in, a way to find out their plans without the accursed treehouse being a barrier. <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">Another knock. Lots of people today.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Ey, can you let me in?” Draug, it seems, also wanted to get out of the rain.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“If you know the password, yes.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Okay… so… not Fidgeting Writer, which was the last password but evidently changed… eh… Royal Bethlehem?”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Come in.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">Draug entered the door.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“See? SEE? This is why we use MY password system.” Shadow sourly remarked.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“In that case, you answer the door.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">Another knock.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Sorry, treehouse full. Nobody else can enter.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“But-”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“No buts. Shoo.“

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">And that ended that.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">Ok. Attempt #4. Imrahil barred from the kitchen? Check. Targets in the trap? Check. Device is working? Uh, hang on… yeah, we’re good. Check. Morgoth, Dragon, and anyone else who might hear accounted for? Check. Let’s do this.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">Activate voice recorder. Move up. Carefully, now, or else they’ll hear me…

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">Got in.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“The day has come, comrade!”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;font-style:italic;white-space:pre-wrap;">That <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;"> got my attention fast.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“We will take to luxuries of the house for ourselves! Is the bacon stored safely?”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Uh, I think so...”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Excellent! Next, we will take the confectionery! The chocolates of the house will be OURS!”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“I really don’t think that this is a good idea-”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“SILENCE! YOU WILL NOT QUESTION ME! WE WILL HAVE WHAT IS RIGHTFULLY OURS!”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">I listened in for the next few minutes as they spoke of their plan. It seemed like they were going to wait until everyone was asleep, creep into the kitchen and search the secret chocolate storage areas, AKA the pantry, fridge, behind the microwave, next to the cups and among the silverware. How he gained that knowledge I have no idea. Why we actually hide the chocolate there is also beyond me.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“And then, when we have the confectionery, we will keep it in a top secret hiding spot!”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Ok… where?”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“My master hiding spot! IN THE POCKETS OF THE CLOTHES IN THE CLOSET!”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Uh, Chaz, that really doesn’t sound-”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“SILENCE!”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">I’d heard enough. Soundlessly, I turned away and left. Now I just need to hop onto my laptop, upload that voice recording, and prepare to send it to anyone whom I thought was trustworthy for after the chocolate goes missing.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">…

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">Well, other than that, the day passed uneventfully, at least for me. I spent the rest of the day trying to figure out of the editing software was necessary or if I could just send over the entire voice recording to everyone else. In the end, I decided to cut out a few bits at the start before I crept up on Chaz and Argali, and at the end, after I got away but before I turned the device off. The next day, however, passed slightly less uneventfully. The alarm raised by everyone who wanted a chocolate before going to work or school quickly alerted everyone to the emergency, and it alerted me to discreetly send a message containing a certain file over to certain people that I believed could be trusted not to warn Chaz or Argali until we’d caught them. Yeah, everyone was really annoyed about the lack of chocolate after double-triple checking all the hiding spots and the spare hiding spots. Apparently we’ve got one in Imrahil’s cooking utensils that he got for his birthday.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">…

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Trav?”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Yes, Imrahil?”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“You should probably hear this.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“What is it?”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">The recording played.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“The day has come comrade! We will...”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">By the end of that, Trav was pissed and Imrahil was pissed. Both of them were ready to go up to Chaz and break his closet.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">…

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">Eureka was playing Minecraft when he received an email.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Huh? What’s this?”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“The day has come comrade! We will take the luxuries...”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">Eureka was getting more and more annoyed by the second.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">…

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">Indom spotted an email. What could it be? A recording?

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">Everyone in adjacent rooms was immediately startled by a large number of profanities.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">…

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">Faenor quickly tabbed out of his Total War game against Dragon to check a recent email. It had a recording attached too.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">“The day has come...”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">Wordlessly, Faenor reached for his katana.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">…

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;">Shadow here. Berry’s gone off to make his report to Imrahil or whatever about it, so I’ll take it from here.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;">It was the same day everyone had found out about the missing chocolate. Everyone was angry at Chaz and, to a lesser extent, Argali. Me and Berry told them to meet us under the treehouse.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;">We outlined the plan. A simple plan it was, not too complex. It couldn’t be, or else inevitably something would go wrong and then we’d be back to the drawing board. Of course, everyone already knew about it, so not much could really go wrong, but we made sure by keeping the plan simple.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;">We went to war.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;">Like that one part of the Lord of the Rings where the Ents got all mad at Saruman and marched on Isengard. Except we were the Ents, Chaz was Saruman, and his bedroom was Orthanc. Huh, I suppose that makes Berry and I Merry and Pippin.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">The first bit even rhymes. Berry, Merry. Although Meriadoc doesn’t really rhyme with anything.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;">Everyone had assorted weapons. Well, improvised weapons. We weren’t actually going to beat up Chaz, we were just going to threaten to, so they had to be able to do some damage but not be too expensive or inconvenient.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;">We kicked in the door and stormed Orthanc.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;">Chaz was surprised, and very chagrined at us. We looked in the pockets of the clothing, and lo and behold the chocolate was there. Then we all yelled at Chaz for a few minutes, and then put the chocolate back in the various hiding spots.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;">That part of the plan had been accomplished, I began implementing my other part of the plan. The bacon was nowhere to be seen, but I’d discussed something with Aurae earlier. After a few more fruitless minutes of searching, we implemented plan B.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;">Plan B was to go to the supermarket and buy more bacon. Huh, I’m surprised nobody else came up with that. Well, we got the bacon.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">…

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">I’d made my report to Imrahil. One investigation, starting with a simple mystery about bacon, escalating to foiling a massive plot to do with Chaz and the chocolates, foiled with luck, tech, and some good non-Morgoth-like investigating. My case notes were all archived away in a folder on my Google Drive, along with a written listing of events. Everything was orderly again; no weapons sighted, no secret plots as far as the eye could see, and most importantly, the bacon and chocolate back in their rightful places. We - that is, Shadow and I - had tied off most of the loose ends. Everything seemed to be going our way. Seemed. And that made me somewhat apprehensive.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">Let’s see. Everything was seemingly in order, but ‘seemingly’ didn’t get the chocolates out of the pockets or the bacon back into the box. Maybe, just maybe, there could be something else brewing, something that could have been happening right under my nose.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">I sure hope not. Ah, well. I’ll deal with it when it comes.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">For now, however… this tale ends.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:700;font-style:italic;text-decoration-line:underline;white-space:pre-wrap;">FIN <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:700;font-style:italic;text-decoration-line:underline;white-space:pre-wrap;">