User blog:Eureka Enderborn/A Story (Part 3)

Seriously, comment! I want to know your opinions!

"So there I was, half of the Bloodtoe Brigade at my back, searching the area in a meticulous manner, leaving no stone unturned. Literally. But nobody could find the thing! The best Dwarven trackers around and we just couldn't find it."

"But the ssstoriesss sssay you did!"

"Yeah. I sat down on the beach to think, and something caught my eye. I hopped in the water to take a look, and there it was. Literally ten feet from our base's back door in the one place we never thought to look. I was so frustrated by then that I straight up broke it open."

"What wasss inssside?"

"Spoiled food."

"You're kidding."

"Nope. All those legends of the lost merpeople city, all that studying, and two entire days of a Dwarven brigade wasted all for an old forgotten halfling cellar."

"With nothing even remotely edible in it?"

"Actually, it turns out that the alcohol was quite excellent, being about a century old, but since I don't drink alcohol and Dwarves love the stuff, so I gave it to them."

"You don't drink any alcohol?"

"I tried, once. I can't stand the stuff."

One of the Iksar renegades laughed. "Then you, my friend, have never tried Cabilissian whiskey!"

"I have not, and I don't intend to."

"Come now, even warriorsss like usss mussst occasionally take time to unwind."

"No one wants to unwind more than me. But I have enemies everywhere, and they're constantly looking for me. I barely get any sleep in my own home."

"What isss it with you? Rarely eat, barely sssleep, and yet you're the mossst famousss individual in the whole world."

"I couldn't tell you if I wanted to."

"Ah. One of the god'sss little aberrationsss, are we?"

"More than you could know."

"Well go on, then!" Another one yelled. "Tell usss another one!"

"Alright, I've got plenty of stories. Which would you like to hear?"

"Well, we've heard action, exxxploration, comedy, drama, intrigue. What are we misssing?"

"Romanccce!"

"Ah, of courssse! Surely you mussst have plenty of that kind of ssstory?"

Jaukoehai chuckled. "Romance really isn't my area."

"Oh, come now!" An Iksar said. "We may find your people'sss methodsss of acquiring a mate to be absssurd, but your exxxploitsss are enough to attract even an Iksssar!"

"Well that explains a lot."

"Oh?"

"Well... alright. Back in the state of Danak, I was visiting the front, of the war between the Empire and the Draconians. At the Sathirian 101st camp, I met two Iksar, sisters in fact. They gave me various duties while I was helping out, but I think they did it just for an excuse to talk to me. They flirted shamelessly with me! It was surreal! I mean, I'm more or less used to it from residents of Quinos and her kingdom, but coming from a pair of Iksar? It was pretty weird."

"And...?"

"And what?"

"Where did it go from there?"

"Eventually they ran out of jobs for me and I went elsewhere."

Most of the Iksar sighed or shook their heads. "You misssed a golden opportunity."

Just then, Slythe showed up. "Alright, everyone! Night isss falling, time to get in your tentsss."

Jaukoehai walked over to his position at the entrance to the camp. As a being who needs little to no sleep, he was given the duty of watchman. It was at about 1 AM that he heard a voice behind him.

"Jaukoehai."

He twirled around, hammer and shield in hand, only to see Slythe standing there, quite nonchalantly.

"You make no sound when you walk."

"Then I am at lassst ready to leave the compound and avenge the death of my father."

"Wait... what?"

"I'm kidding."

"Oh. I'm used to people being serious around me."

"I can't imagine why."

"Why are you here?"

"I wasss bored. You've been with usss for weeksss now, I figured I would come out here and talk with you."

"I see. What about?"

"Mossstly you."

"I don't generally like talking about myself."

"You ssseemed perfectly willing five hoursss ago."

"That was telling stories about things I've done, not about me. There is a big difference."

"Ssso, there hasss been sssomething gnawing at me ever sssinccce you ssspoke with my employeesss earlier."

"What's that?"

"Do you have a mate?"

"You are the third Iksar to ask me that. And I'll give you the same answer I gave them: no, and I don't plan on getting one."

"Very well. Now that we've got that sssettled, on to my nexxxt quessstion: why not?"

"Because having a 'mate' would be nothing but a liability. They would be a major target, all of my enemies would try to get at me through her. Plus she'd be a distraction. And... I haven't really met anybody that would make a good 'mate'."

"You need to be a bit more... flexxxxxible."

"I'm quite fine with this suit of armour blocking some of my dexterity, thank you."

"That isss not what I meant. I wasss referring to emotional flexxxibility. Tell me, which of the godsss do you pay homage to?"

"The god of valor, of course."

"And who isss hisss sssissster?"

"The goddess of love. I actually met her once, as well as her brother."

"Did she sssay anything of interessst?"

"Well she told me she appreciates the work I am doing for her brother, that she admires my skill and vitality, and that I'm one of her biggest pet projects."

"You remembered all of that, hmm?"

"It's not everyday you meet a god. It was pretty memorable."

"And do you think she'll sssuccceed?"

"Why do you care?"

"Becaussse I'm bored. And I don't like unanssswered quessstionsss, which you left a lot of when you were telling ssstoriess. Now, new topic. What are your thoughts on the Sssathirian Empire?"

"Biggest empire in existence, ruled by the most powerful and feared being in existence, Venril Sathir. An evil organization that must be destroyed, eventually."

"And what isss the Empire'sss greatest weakness?"

"The infighting and varying agendas of each city and city-state."

"What isss the biggessst example of thisss?"

"Lord Riliss, ruler of the Riliss state. He loathes Venril Sathir, and Sathir loathes him. The only reason he hasn't openly rebelled is because Sathir has his precious phylactery."

"What isss your opinion of Lord Rilisss?"

"Nasty guy. I don't like him at all. But if I had to choose between him and Sathir, I'd easily pick Lord Riliss."

"What of Danak?"

"Lord Danak, ruler of the port city and city-state that bear his name. I don't mind him. He's a mighty warrior, doesn't put much stock in magical forces. He's honourable, and he seems like a decent being. If I were to choose anyone to replace Venril Sathir, I'd choose Lord Danak."

"What about Verilisssk?"

"Lord Verilisk is a puppet of Sathir. He is very much like his master, and as such I intend to see him ended."

"Excccellent. And what do you think of our plan?"

"I think it will throw the Empire into chaos long enough for somebody to do something to change this continent forever."

"You do not believe Rilisss would win the war?"

"As mighty as Lord Riliss is, he could not win a war against the rest of the Empire. Not even if Danak joined with him. Venril Sathir is far too powerful. But he will make an impact on the Empire, of that I have no doubt."

"Jaukoehai Ironssskin, you are exactly what I needed. Thisss all endsss tomorrow, for better or worssse. We will sssteal the phylactery and sssend the oldessst, mossst powerful empire in exissstencce catapulting into chaosss."