Thread:Faenor of the Silver Laurel/@comment-26295802-20170105001219/@comment-26444332-20170105002055

Alright, to start, here's a few problems I noticed, and think you might need to address:

1. Fixing the descriptions of your starships should have a high priority. I fixed the spelling and some of the grammar issues, but I didn't actually change your designs or names: that's something you need to address.

2. Your capital ships ought to be larger; there's very little chance a starship that has eighty-four gun stations and carries twenty-five fighters could hold two thousand men as well. Adding a rough estimate of the size of your vessels would do a long way towards fixing that.

3. Think through your Voyager-type vessels carefully: there's no way a starship could be "large enough that they don't need an escort, but small enough that they can go up to 5 years without needing to stop for supplies." A cargo vessel like what you imply would be large, and being small enough to not stop for supplies seems a little contradictory.

4. I'm not seeing enough about the actual structure of the Templars: are they affiliated with any governments? Do they have ranks and orders within themselves, like a knightly order?

5. Finally, I'm not seeing the sorts of ground assault capabilities they have. You only talk about the ships: never about the crews, marines, and soldiers along with them.

I think this covers most of it.