User blog:High Prince Imrahil/Wiki Family - The Day Before Christmas

"Come on, boys, let's move it! Christmas waits for no man!" Imrahil's voice echoed through the living room as he supervised the organized chaos



Itallie, carrying a box of ornaments, coughed loudly.



"Christmas waits for no man, or woman." corrected Imrahil, rolling his eyes.



Despite his new-found obsession with Anime, Imrahil had been placed as the interim leader of the Wiki Family siblings, at least until a formal vote could be taken. While he didn't particularly enjoy leadership (there was a reason his elder siblings had been dodging it for so many years), he had been at it long enough to be very efficient.



"Looks like the tree is ready to go, Im', all according to plan." Travian, Imrahil's trusty assistant, appeared out of thin air, brandishing a check list. "Everything has been done according to your specifications."



"Excellent."





-





<p class="MsoNormal">Faenor took a small sip of tea and leaned on the living room wall. They had tried to make him leader after the counter-revolution, but he had heartily refused. A small cup of tea and a good book about 18th century weaponry was all he needed.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Imrahil was standing in the center of the room on a small crate, shouting orders and trying in vain to keep at least some semblance of order. As always, the Christmas decorations were strewn about in every direction, as if some desperate battle had taken place between rival factions of Santa's elves. Then again, in this family, nothing was out of the realm of possibilities.

<p class="MsoNormal">Imrahil himself wore a sand brown jacket with a dark green field hat. Both were in the style of the wehrmacht, except that the swastikas had been removed and replaced with emblems of the Iron Cross. He had been on some sort of Erwin Rommel obsession, and had temporarily exchanged the feathered hat of J.E.B. Stuart for the uniform of a wehrmacht field marshal. Whether this was in tribute to Erwin the general or Erwin the anime character, nobody was sure.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Presently, Imrahil began walking in the direction of- no, that wasn't good at all...

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">---

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Imrahil whistled tunelessly as he made his way into the kitchen. Argali, who had volunteered to do the brunt of the cooking, was currently making some over-complicated dish for the family dinner.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"Hey, Argali, how's everything coming along?"

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"Very well!" exclaimed the younger brother, stirring rapidly with a whisk. "I'm not sure I'm going to have it all done by dinner time, though. Do you think you could send in some help?"

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"Nonsense!" replied Imrahil brightly, "I'll help you myself!"

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Argali looked as if Imrahil had asked to murder small children. "Er... no. Just, no. Imrahil, with all due respect, Dad specifically told me not to let you cook. Send in Faenor or something."

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"Pfffft. My cooking isn't that bad. How was I supposed to know that cooking brownies at 700 degrees for ten minutes, isn't the same as 350 degrees for 20 minutes?? It's simple math!"

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"Imrahil, get out. Right now."

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Imrahil wasn't even listening, he was too busy examining an egg. "How do they get these things open?"

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Argali, with a strong sense of impending doom, fled the room.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Imrahil looked at the egg, then back at the pan.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Egg.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Pan.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Easy.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Imrahil threw the egg into the pan as hard as he could, sending egg whites in all directions. Silly Argali, thinking he couldn't cook! He was just going to bake a cake. What could possibly go wrong?!

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal"> MEANWHILE AT SHADOW AND BERRY'S TREE HOUSE

<p class="MsoNormal"> Carefully manoeuvering himself into a sitting position on a low-hanging branch of the tree, Berry motioned to Shadow to pass him the other end of the Christmas lights, which he then tangled around the branch. He then moved up to the next branch, repeating the process. Soon enough, the entire tree had been covered with inactive festive lighting.

<p class="MsoNormal">“Right, now, that’s the tree done. All we gotta do is wait for nightfall and hope that-”

<p class="MsoNormal">A large explosion sounded from the house.

<p class="MsoNormal">“-nothing bad happens. We’d better go check that out. Shadow, open the treehouse and grab the fire extinguisher. I have a feeling we’re going to need it. Also, make sure those presents are safe.”

<p class="MsoNormal"> --- BACK AT THE HOUSE

<p class="MsoNormal">"I DIDN'T DO IT!" Imrahil screamed, diving into the living room. Flames bellowed out of the kitchen as yet another deafening explosion shook the house. Faenor and Eureka were charging in with fire extinguishers, while Itallie was on the phone with the local fire department.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"Yes, it's the same house as the last four times...." she was saying, rolling her eyes. "I'm terribly sorry, officers. You'll be here soon? Good."

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Hanging up, she turned to Imrahil. "Well, the good news is that we've given them so many problems, they passed a new tax levy for funding. They're also thinking of introducing a "frequent fire" program, where you get a free prize on the tenth incident."

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"That would have been handy when Shade was going through his whole 'burn the heretic' phase."

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"Ah, good times." said Itallie, with a nostalgic smile. It turned into a scowl as she looked down at Imrahil. "Why in the world were you trying to cook?!"

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"Argali said he needed some help..."

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"And you helped by turning the kitchen into a blazing inferno of scorched food. Excellent thinking."

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"Hey now, no need to be sarcastic." Imrahil rose to his feet, dusting the charred egg bits from his field cap. "Luckily for me, Dad isn't supposed to be here for another few hours. Hopefully the fire department will be cleared out by the time he-"

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Glosur Wiki stood in the entry room, dressed in the full suit he wore to work, and still holding a briefcase. He stared at Imrahil expectantly, tapping a foot. "This place smells like charred fish. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?"

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Imrahil looked at his feet. "Sorry, dad. I accidently lit the kitchen on fire again."

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Glosur sighed, shaking his head. "What have you learned?"

<p class="MsoNormal">"That electrical fires can quickly compound intensity when exposed to flammable materials such as a gas stove?"

<p class="MsoNormal">"Exactly!" exclaimed Glosur with a grin, his bright eyes sparkling. "Good job! Now, what are we doing for dinner?"

<p class="MsoNormal">"No need." said Travian, smugly waving his cell phone. "I ordered pizza the second I saw Imrahil enter the kitchen."

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">--

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Candlelight flickered in the windows, as the Wiki Family sat down for dinner. The fire department was still busy in the kitchen, and the dining room had been badly damaged, so they gathered around the floor of the living room.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"... and so then I said, 'that's not a duck, it's a cardiac electrophysiologist!'"

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">The entire room collapsed in laughter as Glosur finished his story.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">"It's really great you were able to get home today, dad." said Imrahil, between bites of pizza.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Glosur smiled, leaning back against the coffee table. "You know, I don't think I realized how much I missed you all. I'm sorry I haven't been home as much lately. But that's going to change! I'm cutting back on my hours at work!"

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">The entire room simultaneously gasped. Eureka was the first to speak. "Well... this is... unexpected. But we're glad to have you back, father!" There were sounds of quiet agreement from the rest of the siblings.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Glosur finished the last bite of pizza and grinned. "Well, I'm glad to be back."