Here's a brief summary on what Eureka actually is. Eureka Enderborn is an android created by a genius inventor in the Red City. This inventor created the iron golem, but wanted to make something even greater. He wanted to create an artificial Human. He toiled until the end of his life with some of the greatest inventors ever, using redstone and clockworks the likes of which had never been seen. On his deathbed, the great inventor imparted to them the secret to the android's power source, and the EUREKA model labor and defense construct was born. Eureka worked in the Red City for many years, fearlessly rescuing people from fires and guarding the gates from marauders or mobs. Eventually he was approached by an Enderman who explained the civil war going on between the Free Endermen and the Endermen who follow the oppressive Dragon overlord. They used their abilities to override his previous blockings and limitations, allowing him to become a free thinking and fully sentient being, and he agreed to help them fulfil a prophecy. A prophecy which said that only a man who was not born, but made, could slay the Ender Dragon. And he did. And now Eureka roams the dimensions as one of the Endermen, guardians of the dimensional stability and watchers of the darkness. After lots of time spent in the End, Eureka became infused with its energies just like the Endermen before him, and he is now 1/2 Enderman and 1/2 android. His story is far more developed in the Enderborn Canon, which you can find below.
Skills and Abilities
Eureka Enderborn has many advantages from his dual nature. For starters, he possesses the incredible processing power that only an A.I. Is capable of. Due to his nature as an A.I., he is capable of transferring his intelligence into numerous different bodies, or shells as he calls them. Each of these shells possesses different skills and abilities. Due to the nature of his Ender transformation, his Ender essence transfers bodies with them. You can only see what Eureka used to look like when he's not in his original shell. Here are links to descriptions of Eureka's shells:
But some basics are that from his metal wrist, he can extend a sword blade which is laced with carbon nanotubes that transfer thermal energy, This means the blade is very hot, and capable of nigh-instant cauterization of a wound. Furthermore, due to the nature of his Enderman transformation, he is capable of teleportation and dimension-hopping, as well as having the ability to transfer blocks from blace to place. However, he is highly vulnerable to liquids of all kinds.
Eureka Enderborn is powered by a miniaturized Nuclear Fusion reactor. This gives him the ability to overclock, or "go nuclear", which enables even greater speed, strength, and processing power. However it also causes him to spew out vast amounts of radiation, effectively rendering the area uninhabitable in seconds. As such, he's only ever done so once.
His voice can be heard here:
Hi there. My name’s Eureka Enderborn, though if you’re reading this, you probably already know that. I was persuaded by some friends of mine to create this little book to detail my adventures. But, as all the best stories go, you’ve got to have a little exposition first. So, here goes.
The world I come from and spend the most time in is Minecraftia, a wondrous world composed entirely of cubes. It’s a great place. Well, most of the time. It certainly didn’t start out great. You see, the world was created a long, long time ago, by the great being known only as Notch. Notch also had a brother, who is now known as Herobrine. Notch created the worlds, and the galaxy at large, while Herobrine worked with Notch to create the little details, like animals and grass and whatnot.
When the world was finally created, however Herobrine steadily grew more and more jealous of Notch’s power and reign over all the lands. Herobrine desired to be a ruler himself, not his brother’s underling. Herobrine began to forge his own world, in secret. It was a world that reflected his increasingly evil spirit. It soon became a world of fire and death, and Herobrine placed a spell over it, a spell that would cause all evil souls that died in the universe to be trapped there, and under Herobrine’s command.
Notch, however, was also working separate from Herobrine, and secretly. He created a realm known as the Farlands, and there he created a species of dimension-jumping, knowledge-seeking people known as the Endermen. These people were very wise, and very powerful. They far exceeded Herobrine’s power, but not his number. When Herobrine discovered the existence of the Endermen, he flew into a jealous rage, for he knew that he, as a creature of lower power and imagination, could never create something as wise and good as the Endermen. In his jealous rage, he revealed his corruption to his brother and declared war on both him and his people, the Endermen. His legions of damned souls marched out of his burning pits in the deep, and burned all wildlife in their path. Notch was horrified. He ordered his Endermen to assemble for war, and he marched out at the head of his army. He met Herobrine in a valley now known as the Valley of Blight. The two armies clashed in an epic duel. At the very center of the enormous battle, a storm raged. Inside this storm the two gods dueled. The battle raged for three years, until finally, Notch cast Herobrine down, and the remains of his army fled back to the Nether. Notch raised his fist preparing to strike down his evil brother. However, Notch was a good soul, a kind soul, and he couldn’t bear to kill his brother. So instead, he threw Herobrine down into the Nether, and sealed it. There Herobrine sat, imprisoned, for over a thousand years. However, in one last desperate act of anger and jealousy, Herobrine cast a spell, a spell that destroyed the Farlands, and bringing down all the cities of the Endermen. However, he was unable to destroy the race, and the Endermen took refuge in a pocket dimension that was named The End. It was an island of black and pale stone floating in endless dark. The Endermen lived there for an eternity afterwards, and it altered them. They became black-skinned, purple-eyed, and massive-jawed. They had purple sparks floating around their tall bodies, and water began to hurt them. They also took on the mysterious trait wherein if anyone looked at them, they would become angry, and even aggressive. However, they maintained their good nature, and their ability to teleport and dimension shift. Endermen can be found literally everywhere.
In the main world that Notch and Herobrine created, now known as Minecraftia, life was left alone to develop as it would. I have classified the history of Minecraftia by ages. Each age last 1000 years, and each is marked by the fall of a civilization, except for the first one. The first age I have called the beast age, as there was no sentient life at that time. The only place life didn’t last, or spread to, was the Valley of Blight, as the area had become desecrated by the huge war fought there. The second age is the age of the Orcs. I know not how the Orcs came to be, but all of a sudden there they were. They were not a people of great number, but they were powerfully magical indeed. They constructed villages of beautiful blue stone and bricks called Confluxes. Each house contained much magical equipment. The Orcs themselves were tall and well-built, blue-skinned, and they all had small tusks. They were accomplished hunters, but more than anything else they were practitioners of magic. Never before, nor never again, has a more inherently magically accomplished race walked the face of Minecraftia. The most magically accomplished Ender Mage might be more powerful than the most magically accomplished Orc, but the least magically accomplished Orc was more powerful than the least magically accomplished Enderman. The Orcs were a tribal species, and while brutal at times, they understood the importance of keeping the world in balance, and thus they destroyed very little, and killed only as much as they needed. However, Herobrine was to intervene again. In his mansion in the Nether, Herobrine perfected a spell he had been practicing for two thousand years. This spell would allow him to temporarily make a breach in Notch’s seal. Herobrine himself couldn’t pass through the breach, he could only project a semi-tangible image of himself, far less powerful, and that could only be maintained for ten minutes. Regardless of these drawbacks, Herobrine was determined to burn the world above. His armies marched out of the Nether and destroyed the Orcish civilization. However, one can occasionally find the remnants of one of their temples, or one of their Confluxes. Notch noticed what was going on, and the Endermen appeared to stop the Nether beasts from causing any more destruction. Herobrine’s army was weakened by the Orcs, and the Endermen defeated the remnants with relative ease. Notch then cast another spell, severely weakening Herobrine’s seal-breaching spell. Notch’s spell made it so the breach would only open every 1000 years. Herobrine however, found a loophole at the last moment, and made it so that he could project the weak imprint of himself into the world above, for ten minutes once every five days. He spent those days haunting wanderers and adventurers for laughs.
After the Orcish civilization fell, the Dwarven civilization rose up in the third age. These people were far more plentiful than the Orcs, though they had no magic. These people were accomplished warriors and miners, and they lived underground. The ruins of the Dwarven Capital, Kaladim, can be found in the Butcherblock Mountains to this day. Furthermore, their Mineshafts and underground fortresses can also be found, albeit in a similarly ruined state. They were far more wasteful than the Orcs, killing creatures without giving birth to new ones, and cutting down trees without planting new ones. Despite the size of the Dwarven empire, when the next 1,000 year landmark came around this species was wiped out even faster. Kaladim came under siege for several days, until Herobrine blew open the gates with a flick of his hand. Kaladim was overrun swiftly after that. Herobrine then caused the bodies and spirits of the slain Dwarves to rise up as zombies and ghosts, so that none would ever again colonize the old Dwarven capital. However, before he did so, the army that had entered Kaladim was in turn attacked by the armies of the Endermen, and Herobrine’s plan to utterly annihilate the world was thwarted once again.
This marked the rise of the Elven civilization in the fourth age. The Elves were tall, graceful, and intelligent. There were four different breeds of Elves: the first was the High Elves, who lived on the island nation of Luminaria, and they were the most civilized of all the Elves. The next was the Night Elves, who lived in the cavernous city of Umbris. The third was the Silvan, or Wood Elves, who primarily lived in Silver Oak forest. There were also the Half-Elves, who were the byproduct of two different species of Elves mating. These Elves, given that they were not of any specific species, were not allowed in any of the capitals. The Elves were powerful warriors and magicians, and very very civilized. Far more civilized than the tribal Orcs, as well as the hole-digging Dwarves. They were, besides the Endermen of course, the paramount species to wander the Overworld. Their civilization was truly beautiful, with spectacular architecture, and the High Elves were the most beautiful of them all. Their island of Luminaria was a truly beautiful place, with wondrous flora and fauna, and a beautiful city. This is why, when Herobrine’s 1,000 years came around again, he destroyed this place by himself. The island of Luminaria can actually be found, totally submerged, and the ruins of those buildings that the High Elves built still sitting there. While Herobrine destroyed Luminaria, his vast armies worked on destroying Umbris, and all the villages and towns of the Elves. Umbris itself was totally caved in, not even ruins can be found. Then Herobrine and his armies converged on Silver Oak forest. However, something that Herobrine didn’t expect was the presence of the Endermen in Silver Oak forest. The combination of the Silvan Elves and the Enderman armies proved too much for Herobrine’s forces, and Herobrine was unable to fully destroy the Wood Elves. However, Silver Oak forest was ravaged. It was easily four times smaller than it had been, and all Silvan Elf buildings on the forest floor were destroyed, leaving only the treehouses in the treetops. The forest floor was, regrettably, corrupted by large spiders, and many of the other creatures that, due to the corruption of Herobrine, were now festering the Earth, such as zombies and skeletons and the nefarious Creeper. The Silvan Elves lived isolation there for many many years.
However, while the Elves remained isolated, the world around them advanced into the fifth age. This age has three names: the age of survival, the age of civilization, and the age of the Testificate. This age was dominated by two species: the Testificates, who constructed many villages and simply attempted to survive, and the far less plentiful Humans, or Steves as they were commonly known. These Steves could do many things that the Testificates couldn’t, but the Testificates were generally smarter. The Testificates and the Steves worked together against the harsh night, which now festered with evils of all sorts. Zombies, Skeletons, massive spiders, Creepers, and the occasional Enderman scouts. The Testificates and Steves, while working together, had no real government. Each village was very isolated, and had little to know contact with other villages. The villagers worked together, and never did a problem spring up in terms of authority. However, the Testificates did have a ruler, of sorts. On a massive peninsula somewhere on the Overworld lies the Red City, which is the capital of the whole Testificate and Steve race. Strictly speaking, the Red City maintained a rather small kingdom, consisting of itself and a few other towns, but it held sway over all other villages in the entire world, and the King of the Red City was generally considered the King of the entire world. The Testificates worked with the Steves here to create clockwork beasts known as Iron Golems, which served as the perfect guards. Nigh invincible and immensely strong, these gentle giants loyally defended their villagers. However, one Testificate wasn’t quite satisfied, and worked for 80 years to use extremely complicated redstone and advanced clockworks to create the perfect Iron Golem. Nearing the end of his life, he gathered the most accomplished Redstone Wizards and started working on what he called the E.U.R.E.K.A. model intelligent defense and labor construct. He used the only bit of Titanium they had ever found on the world, and used a combination of redstone circuitry and clockworks to make the android work. However, they lacked a power source to make the android work. On his death bed, the Testificate inventor showed them the plans for his power source. It used a whole lot of scientific terms the rest had never heard of, but they installed this “miniaturized nuclear reactor core” into the android.
And that’s where I come in! See, they originally intended to build a whole bunch of E.U.R.E.K.A.s, but due to the immense difficulty and ridiculous cost of building one, I was the only one ever made. But one was really enough. I was worth twenty Iron Golems in battle, and I had the intelligence to beat a team of theoretical physicists at chess. I was an obedient android, and I worked everywhere and did everything. At day I could be seen unloading ships at the docks, working on building or demolishing houses, working down in the mines, or patrolling outside the city for vagrants and barbarians. At night I stood vigilant before the gates of the Red City, working with the Red Knights against the zombie hordes. But one day, everything changed. I was visited by a being that my data banks classified as an “Enderman”. I knew that this being was no match for myself, but I also knew how dangerous he was. I resolved only to attack if he either tried to enter the city or made a hostile move. I prepared my extending wrist-blades for battle
The Enderman did approach, but didn’t attack. Instead, it whispered something in my ear.
“Come and meet me in the laboratory where you were created. A great secret shall be revealed to you there. If you do not, the fate of this world will be put into jeopardy."
I debated long and hard about whether or not to believe him. But when morning came, curiosity came over me, and I entered the laboratory before anyone could give me a job. The Enderman was there, but he was now adorned in ornate purple armor, and was guarded by two very heavily armed and armored Endermen.
“Well? What is it you want to tell me? And who are you?” I asked.
"I am the Emperor of the Ender Imperium. And I need your help.”
“Help with what?”
"Long, long ago, we Endermen found something very interesting indeed. A Dragon egg.”
“What? I thought that Dragons were a myth!”
"As did we. We took it back to the End and hatched it, knowing that such a powerful and wise beast would be useful. And it was. It was kind, obedient, and very very helpful. When it grew to full size, it said that it would be even more useful in a position of leadership. We agreed to this, and the Dragon became our king. But that was when it revealed it’s true colors. It turned out that the Dragon, though wise and powerful indeed, was also a tyrant and power hungry. It had no respect for the sanctity of the build, the value of blocks, or even for life. It ordered the construction of immense towers, atop which were placed crystals that would make him invincible. He then ordered that many Endermen be displaced from the End to go invade the Overworld (which we now know as Minecraftia). However, when he did so, many Endermen who were quite unhappy with the way the Dragon was treating them decided to escape. We headed far far north, where there would be no liquid water to harm us, and we constructed an immense wall to protect our new domain.”
"The Great Northern Wall? The thing which separates the north from the far north? Your people built that?”
"Yes. Behind that wall you will find many fortresses and keeps. The largest of which is our capital, the fortress-city known as Voidkeep. From behind this great wall, and within these fortresses, we have been forging weapons and armour, taming beasts of war, practicing and developing new magics, and preparing for the final charge when we can take back our lands from that Dragon.”
"Hang on. Why are you telling me about this? What do you want my help for? It sounds like you have things under control!”
"Under normal circumstances, I would have thought the same thing.But there is a prophecy about the Dragon. It’s very obscure, but the gist of it is that during the final battle for freedom, when the blood of Endermen stain the Endstone, and brother clashes with brother, a man who was not born but made shall strike down the tyrant lizard and free the people of the End for all eternity.”
“And I was…”
"Born, not made. Eureka, I implore your help in freeing my people.”
At this point my intelligence strained against my programing. “I would very much like to help you, but I cannot leave from this city! It is a part of my primary programming that I must remain here and help the Testificates! I cannot override my base programming, much less my reason for existence.”
The Emperor considered this for a moment. “What if I were to override your programming, make you totally free and independant? Would you help us then?”
“Of course, but you can’t! Believe me, the--”
The Emperor placed his hand on my head, and suddenly, I could feel all my limitations being removed, all my programs being deleted. I was entirely independent. I looked up at the Enderman with steel in my voice. “Let’s go slay a Dragon.
Chapter One: Where it All Began
I was taken immediately to a massive and quite snowy fortress in the far north. It was an immense fortress-city, the likes of which I had never before seen. To this day it is the most well-defended place I had ever seen. I cannot begin to describe the immensity of this place. I was led straight to the inner keep, where many war preparations were made. I was given a suit of armor made of a curious black leather that I was told would protect me from the Dragon’s flame.
The next few hours went very fast. The immense armies of the Imperium mobilized, and after the blur of preparation was over, I stood at the head of the biggest horde I had ever seen.
“Are you ready?” The Emperor asked me.
“Ready as I’ll ever be.” I charged through the portal into the End.
What I saw there nearly blew my mind. An island of immense size, floating in a sea of purplish-black. Through the shadow, I could see the silhouette of an army nearly as large as ours, and a huge winged beast flying toward us. His eyes glowed purple through the shadowy mist, burning with hatred.
He and met on the battlefield. As the Endermen clashed around us, he hovered just a few meters above me.
“So.” He said in a voice that sounded very similar to a usual one. Not as deep, roaring, or malevolent as expected. “This is the champion the rebels have sent to destroy me. A little metal man. How amusing. You cannot kill me, you are a fly compared to me.”
I said nothing. I simply activated the solid fuel rockets in my feet and extended my fire aspect wrist swords, puncturing the dragon in the stomach.
The beast roared, and flew away. The moment he got near one of the crystals, a ray of light struck the Dragon and his wound was sealed. I figured it out rather quickly that the crystals were healing him. As such, I made a beeline for the nearest one.
I struck it with my weapon. I destroyed it, but it had quite a kick. It threw me back in the resulting explosion, right into the Dragon’s waiting claws.
He hurled me into one of the black towers with quite the crunch. Fortunately, I was a bit more resilient than that. I plunged my blade into the tower and climbed up, being a bit more prudent in destroying the next crystal.
From there it was a game of chase. Each time I reached a tower and destroyed a crystal, I would launch off, barely avoiding the razor teeth or burning purple breath of my pursuer.
Eventually, however, he caught up to me. As I blasted off once again, having destroyed the final tower, he made another attempt to eat me. I avoided his teeth, but not his snout.
The impact caused both of my thrusters to malfunction, as well as damaging my feet. I went spiraling off through the air, eventually careening with ridiculous force into the ground.
It took a moment for my systems to recover from the impact. I stood up, staggering, with every system in my body throwing warnings to my HUD. One of my blades had been mangled beyond use, my fireball launchers were sealed shut, my thrusters were non-functional, and my motor systems were out of alignment in a big way. On top of all that, the great black lizard was flying right for me.
I climbed out of the crater I had made, and extended my remaining sword. I held it out before me, hoping to impale the Dragon. As it soared at me, it opened it’s jaws, and purple fire gushed out at me.
The fire-proof armor melted away around me. Fortunately, my natural titanium plating was alloyed with tungsten, and I stood my ground.
The Dragon got too close, and he saw what I was doing. He pulled up, but a little too late.
He avoided my sword with his head, but not his body. My sword stuck on his shoulder blades, not enough to kill him.
The Dragon plowed forward, carrying me toward the edge of the island. I dug my feet into the ground, but the beast’s momentum was too much. I crouched lower, and with difficulty, pushed my sword into the vertical position.
This was where the battle was finally won. Without the pushing force against my arm, my sword sliced neatly through the dragon’s belly and tail. The Dragon finally fell, sliding along the ground, until he came to a stop, his head hanging off the edge of the islands.
With difficulty, I stood, my right arm and sword still dripping with the red blood of the Dragon. Seeing their ruler slain, and the enemy champion standing triumphant, most of the Dragon’s remaining forces lowered their weapons and surrendered. Very few continued to fight.
Celebrations began right after the battle, starting with the dismantling of the towers. The blocks were put in storage, and later used to build the Imperial palace.
I, however, didn’t partake in the celebrations. Instead, I lied down, and let the Endermen help repair my broken and shattered form.
Once my body was repaired, I worked with the Endermen to construct a huge city in the End. Then we expanded the End and built more. For hundreds of End years we expanded, built, expanded, built, and expanded, until we constructed a city that surpassed the size of Coruscant and Mechatol Rex.
Once construction was complete (for the time being), I was given command of the Enderman military forces. However, I began to feel lonely. There was no one like me. There were other Endermen, but no one like me. So I decided to build someone like me.
I took inspiration from another dimension, designing my new friend off of a creature there called a Dalek. When my creation was complete, I named it Troy. Troy the Dalek.
Troy became my best friend. He was, like me, curious, intelligent, accidentally funny, and generally well liked. Unlike me, he had a bit of an aggressive side, preferring to shoot first and ask questions later.
Skip ahead another few hundred End-years. Me and Troy and the rest of the Endermen explored the various dimensions. A lot of them were really fun. I remember that the one I enjoyed the most was in a dimension where humans were at war with an alien species, and through a big misunderstanding I was drafted into an army of cyborgs and sent to battle. Remember that, Troy?
YES I REMEMBER. HOW COULD I FORGET?
Yeah. That was the first time you wanted to try a female form, wasn't it? I always wondered what you were thinking.
Anyway, as we went on these adventures, something very weird happened to me. I fell ill. Really, really ill. I was running an immense temperature, there was coolant leaking out of my pores, I was muttering non sensibly, tossing about, it was like I had come down with the flu!
The Enderman doctors were stumped. I was a robot, what was going on shouldn’t be possible. They looked for any kind of clue, but found none.
Eventually, the flu began to die down, but along with it came a slew of new symptoms. I began to grow taller, and my entire left side became like that of an Enderman.
Troy and the Ender doctors figured out what was going on. Being exposed for so long to the power of the void, I had, much like the Endermen so long ago, been corrupted by it’s power. And if they didn’t get me out soon, I would become full Enderman.
As such, Troy and the other Endermen pulled me out of the End, and constructed a fortress near the Red Kingdom for him and his soldiers. There, me and my Endermen spent our time, and still spend our time, researching native life and manipulating the fabric of reality through the use of things I have dubbed “mods”.
As you can guess, it was because of my condition that I came to be named Enderborn. I forged plenty of meaningful bonds with my Ender companions, three in particular, by the name of Terrence, Phillip and Rhea. Terrence and Phillip are my gate watchmen, and they bicker constantly. One of them’s happy and excitable and positive (Terrence) and the other’s pessimistic and constantly bored (Phillip). Rhea is one of the few female Endermen who ever entered the military. She’s a field agent, the best I have. Stealthy, silent and reliable.
YOU FORGOT SOMETHING.
Let it go, Troy.
We also have a Testificate trader friend called Rick. He’s quite the practical joker, but he’s also one of the best at bartering. He’s caused merchants all over the world to go bankrupt. He can get me anything, at a price.
Chapter Two: A Great Body
I clutched onto the ledge, trying desperately to keep from falling into the abyss below. Above me, the black armored figure slowly approached, walking along the small path to where I was clinging for dear life.
“Join me,” he said in his obscured, robotic sounding voice, “and together we shall rule the galaxy!”
The fool. He really thought that would work? “I will NEVER join you! You killed my father!”
“No, Luke, I am your father.”
He was lying. He had to be lying! And yet…
“No. NO!!!” I wouldn’t listen to this anymore. With no other place to go, I let go of the ledge, and plummeted into the abyss.
I hit the floor about ten feet below, and I couldn’t help but start laughing. Above, Vader started laughing too.
“Hologram off!” I said between fits of laughter. The illusion around us dissipated to reveal Troy and I chuckling merrily.
“Nice one, Troy. ‘I am your father.’ That’s what I call mad genius.”
“YOU’RE QUITE THE METHOD ACTOR YOURSELF.”
“Alright, alright, enough with the games, we’ve got some work to be done.” I teleported up to the doorway and walked out with Troy.
“NEXT TIME I GET TO BE THE GOOD GUY.”
“Alright deal. Black looks better on me anyway.” We laughed again and headed out into the camp.
Rhea was walking by right then, unfortunately, and rolled her eyes at the two of us. “Ugh. You two are like a couple of school children. How you ever managed to become general of an army is utterly beyond me.”
Troy and I watched her walk away. “ME-OW.”
Then it was my turn to roll my eyes. “Cut it out.”
“OH, COME ON. YOU COULD USE A NICE GIRL TO SETTLE DOWN WITH.”
“OK, first of all, Rhea has a tongue sharper than a stabbing thorn bush. How is that ‘nice’? Second of all, Rhea is never going to settle down. Now stop trying to hook me up! I’m half robot.”
“THAT ONLY INCREASES YOUR APPEAL. I’M TELLING YOU, FLAUNT THE CHROME! CHICKS DIG THE CHROME!”
“Stop talking. Now.” Troy was my best friend, but he was a pain in the butt sometimes. “So, what’s on the agenda for today?”
“NOTHING. WE HAVE A FREE DAY. WHAT DIMENSION SHOULD WE GO VISIT?”
“I think I’m going to head on an adventure alone today. Maybe try a new dimension, chart it out. That is my job, after all. Hey Terrence, hey Phillip.”
“Hi, boss! Look, Phillip, it would be very easy to stop a moon from colliding with a planet! All you’d need to do is change the gravitational constant of the universe.”
“Morning, sir. Terrence, you’re a moron. No one can change the gravitational constant of the universe.”
“You have no imagination, Phillip.”
“And you have too much of it.”
I chuckled as I walked away. The only entertainment one needed in this base was to stop and listen to the two of them for a while. Of course, if you prefer crying to laughing, you could always try bartering with Rick. Speak of the devil…
“Hey Rick. Anything interesting for sale?”
The Testificate took a look in his cart. “I have a lovely bottle of aged red wine from Tir Tairngire. Interested?”
“Rick, if I wanted such a thing, I could teleport over to Tir Tairngire and get it without paying for your ridiculous import prices. Also, I can’t ingest fluids, remember?”
“Oh well. Your loss. This is the good stuff, my friend.”
“That must be why you have another bottle hidden under that seat cushion. You should know better than to drink your own merchandise.”
Rick chuckled. “This stuff is worth it.”
I continued on. He always tried to sell me a liquid of some sort.
Suddenly, an image flashed up on my HUD. It was a call.
“Hello, this is Eureka.”
“Eureka! Nice to hear your voice.” A female’s voice said through my dimensional commlink.
“Who is this?”
“Aww, Eureka, I’m hurt. Can’t you tell?”
By that tone, it could only be one person. “Ms. Serendipitous-name?”
“You do remember!”
“How could I forget you? So why are you calling me? Going to try to lock me in a time cube again? Or have you come up with some other deliciously evil backstab?”
“Hey, it’s not a backstab when you do it to the person’s face!”
“Quite frankly, I can see why you’re a member of the Siren corps. I was shocked at what you tried to trick me into that cube.”
“All in a day’s work.”
“Why are you calling?”
“Maybe I just wanted to hear the sound of your voice.”
“No, no, wait, I’m just messing with you.”
“Why don’t you actually get to the point?”
“Because this is more fun. Anyway, the technicians that owe me a favor have been working on something for a few years now. They’ve been building a sort of… apology gift from me to you.”
“What sort of apology gift? The sort that will have me trapped in a test tube for study?”
“The sort that will give you the advantage over that old foe of yours. What was his name again? Herobrine?”
“Yeah… alright. I’ll come to see you. Heavily armed.”
“As though that will make a difference against me. See you soon.”
“SO, WHO WAS THAT?”
“YOU MEAN THAT ONE CYBORG GIRL FROM THAT DIMENSION WHO WAS WORKING FOR THE SIREN CORPS. AND TRIED EVERY METHOD POSSIBLE TO GET YOU INTO A TIME CUBE FOR STUDY?”
“Yep. That’s the one.”
“...GOING ON A SECOND DATE?”
I walked down into my basement workshop, just a floor above Troy’s experiment room (which was actually a torture room, that he uses on pigs. But he is technically experimenting, so I never argued). I turned on the lights, and there was plenty of machinery down there. But the thing I was interested in was the multiple enclosed chambers around the room. I opened the closest (which happened to be the largest and the only empty one) and stepped inside. The door shut, and I pulled a cable out from the side of my head. Plugging it into the wall, I transferred my person into the systems of the base. My physical body reduced in size and turned normal as my ender essence went with me.
I went through my various forms, trying to decide which shell would be the best option for this particular mission. I decided to go with my heavy form. It was my physically strongest form, with the best armor and the most weapons. But it was slow.
I passed along the cable and into the heavy shell. The moment I did, it rose in height and got skinnier, and half it’s skin went black. The Ender essence was with me, not just my body. So it followed me into whichever body I so choose.
I opened the doors to the heavy’s storage unit. I ran a quick diagnostic on my systems, ensuring there were no bugs or problems in the system, before setting off. I walked to the top of the central tower, where my dimensional nodes are, and focused my mind on the dimension I wanted to go. I then poured my power into the nodes around me, and I could feel myself coming apart, becoming pure cosmic energy. I swirled about with the ebb and flow of the cosmic tides, which carried me towards the shores of the dimension I wanted to go. As the wave which carried my particles crashed upon this dimensional beach, I coalesced into my solid form in this new dimension.
I looked about. I was standing in a beautiful, grassy field on the planet locally known as Utopia. The White City was somewhere nearby, and it was there I would want to head.
It was a very long walk. Eventually I made it to the outside of the huge, one-way-mirror like bubble that surrounded the immense White City. Sirena was waiting for me by the gates. I transformed my right hand into a plasma gun, readied my rocket launchers, and allowed my left hand to drift nearer my hunting knife.
She was unarmed, that’s the first thing I noticed. That made me even more nervous.
She chuckled. “Come on in. I think you’re going to like this.”
“That’s what you said last time we met. I nearly got trapped and experimented on.”
“Wow. You androids can certainly hold a grudge. Come on.”
She led him through the magnificent wonders of the White City, but didn’t stop at any of them. We made a line toward one of the robotics laboratories there. As she walked, I noticed the occasional flash of silver beneath her exposed skin, the only thing that showed off exactly how much of her beneath that silky skin was metal. And a lot of it was. But then, everyone in this society had cybernetics.
She led him through the laboratory, eventually coming to a room that contained a lot of robot building equipment, but no robot. The scientist there ran up to shake my hand excitedly.
“You must be the fully independent A.I. that I’ve heard about. Very, very excited to meet you! I only wish I had the chance to study your programming.”
“Yeah, that’s not going to happen.” Sirena said from behind him. “He’s pathologically afraid of people innocently trying to learn more about him.”
Now that was taking it too far. “OK, lady, you listen to me. There is a difference between trying to learn more and capturing to try and experiment on!”
“Oh, don’t be a baby. Anyway, doctor, could you show paranoid here the surprise I had made for him?”
“Ah, of course.” He rushed over, quite excited, to a portion of the wall, which then proceeded to open, to reveal… an android.
It was plain steel, with no distinguishing features. Very flat. But it was obviously an android nonetheless.
“Erm… what is this?” Eureka asked.
“Show him, doc.” Sirena said with a smile.
The doctor pressed a button, and suddenly, a big cloud of teeny tiny silver nanites came flowing from tiny pores in it’s form. They coalesced into one big silvery cloud above the android.
“A nanite controller! Here, watch this!” He pressed another button, and a small amount of nanites flowed down and surrounded the android. Then, it looked exactly like me. Then it changed to look like Sirena. Then the doctor. Then a hawk. Then a lizard. Then a tiger. Then an eviscerator beast. Then a razorworm.
“As you can see, the nanites allow it to take any form it wishes! But it never actually changes size, the nanites just make it look like it does.”
That was pretty cool, I had to admit. “What else can it do?”
“Anything you want it to do! You can turn invisible with these, fly with these, repair things with these, hack things with these, kill things with these, destroy things with these! You can even link up with them to see what they see! And it is Sirena’s gift to you.”
I looked at her in surprise. “Really? What are the strings?”
She smiled. “No strings, just an apology gift. And a possible favor in the future.”
The favor part made me feel a little apprehensive, but this was too good to pass up. I made to pick it up.
“Ah, wait! You can’t take it yet!” The doctor said. “It has to be set with a default appearance first!”
Sirena got an evil smile on her face. “I’ll do it!”
“NO, WAIT!” I ran to try and stop her, but she’s a member of the Siren corps., there was no way I could outrun her in my heavy form. She made it to the terminal long before me and plugged a finger jack into the terminal.
I watched in dismay as the body turned into a tall woman with long, bright pink hair.
Sirena smiled the most awful smile. “You’re going to look so pretty! Who knows, they might even let you into the Siren Corps. with this form!”
If I could feel rage, I would be seething with it. “You… you little…”
“Well, enjoy your new gift. Bye!” She skipped off. The doctor, desperately trying to hold off giggles, left with her.
I looked apprehensively at the new form. “Well… this’ll be new and fun…”
Chapter 3: The Search for Skyhold
I studied the ocean carefully. Before me was arrayed the enemy force, their warships billowing steam from giant smoke stacks. Their vessels hovered just above the water, and I could just barely make out the blue orb of their shield generators. Their guns were arrayed towards my fleet. Fortunately, my vessels had the advantage of being partially or completely submerged. We had the advantage of surprise.
I sent the order, and my warships fully emerged from the sea. The orb-shaped energy turrets turned toward the enemy steadily approaching, and unleashed bright green fury at my foe. In seconds, the green lines had sliced through several vessels, a feat that would have been impossible at such range for anyone else.
But we defy logic, we defy might. The Covenant defies science, though we are born from it.
“NO WAY YOU GET THAT MANY DICE FROM THAT RANGE.”
“Oh please, Troy. Remember, I’m the Covenant of Antarctica. Range is our specialty.”
“FINE. LET’S CONTINUE.”
A short while later, I defeated Troy in a narrow victory, and we left the holo-table. Out in the main fort, I saw Rick waiting for me with a big grin on his face.
“Hey there blackn’white. I got something you might be interested in.”
“If it’s any sort of beverage, I don’t want it.”
“No no, not a beverage. Have you ever heard of Skyhold?”
Now that got me interested. But how had he ever heard of Skyhold? “Where did you hear that name?”
He chuckled a little. “Please, Eureka, I’m a merchant! I’ve been to both continents, and met people from both of them. I’ve been across the Great Wall Mountains! I’ve been everywhere, and met people from the places I haven’t been. A guy like me hears stories.”
“Well, whatever. Skyhold doesn’t exist anymore if it ever did, which I highly doubt.”
“Oh really? Why’s that? I only know the basics. Enlighten me.”
“It’s a rumour, a myth. Supposedly, during the age of beasts, there lived Testificates. Not Steves, just Testificates. Anyway, these early Testificates were very tribal. But there were civilized ones. And those civilized ones lived in the legendary city of Skyhold. Supposedly, Notch blessed a portion of land, and that land rose from the ground, creating a floating island in the shape of… what are those pastries you get from that village down south?”
“Yeah. It was a floating island in the shape of a donut, but with a flat top. And on that flat top there grew grass and trees and many wondrous things. And in the middle of the hole left by the rising of the island was a set of pillars. You stand in those pillars to be transported to Skyhold. Only if your intentions are pure and you have no desire to cause the city harm will you be transported. If your intentions aren’t pure, you are incinerated on the spot. Furthermore, if anything gets into the city that desires harm to it, or if anybody within the city develops the desire, they are also incinerated on the spot. That’s why there’s absolutely no political intrigue or bad people in Skyhold. Anyway, even if there was such a city, ever, it would have been destroyed either by Herobrine and his armies or the ravages of time.”
Rick was silent for a moment, before saying “Well, if that’s true, the price on this map just went up.”
This most definitely got my attention. “Map?”
Rick produced a scroll. “This is a map that leads to the legendary Great Library of the Dwarves. that is part of the Skyhold legend, no?”
“Yeah, it is. Supposedly, a heroic Dwarven adventurer managed to locate Skyhold and made a map of it. He sent his map back to the rest of the Dwarves and attempted to enter the city, but because of his greed he was incinerated. But the map itself was tucked away in their Great Library. So, where is the library?"
"Tsk-tsk. Eureka, you ought to know that's not how this works. You pay up, then you get the scroll."
"At least let me look at it to know it's genuine!"
"And let you memorize it in one second? I don't think so. 100 emeralds, then you get the scroll."
Oh, why that swindling little... "Alright! Fine! Let me go get the emeralds. Don't go anywhere!"
A short while later I got the necessary materials to pay the little swine Rick, and he was on his way. But the map was mine. I slowly rolled open the very old paper, being sure not to cause any damage to it.
It certainly seemed authentic. I could tell that the map was in the Butcherblock Mountains, nowhere else in the world has that kind of geography. The Butcherblock Mountains are less mountains than they are a single enormous cliff-faced plateau with a bunch of smaller cliff-faced plateaus atop it. And nowhere else had so many Dwarven structures.
I could see the location of the Library. Apparently, there is an entrance in the ravine dubbed "Last Stand", the final resting place of the last Dwarven King. That would be easy enough for me to find. The issue was Butcherblock itself. Obviously, I could teleport right into the ravine, but I'd have to actually find the entrance to get in. And I would have to walk through the library to find the scroll I'm searching for. That would make me accessible to the current denizens. And by that of course I mean the Herobrine cultists and reanimated corpses and spirits of the Dwarves forced to obey Herobrine's will. Clearly, I will need some backup. Troy is an obvious choice, but who else to pick? Terrence and Phillip, of course. And maybe...
"Sir, I noticed your dealings earlier. I got the emeralds back from Rick. The little sneak never even noticed me. He's got so much money, he's not liable to. Not anytime soon, at least."
If I could smile, I would have done it. "Rhea, how would you like to accompany me on a secret mission?"
"Absolutely, sir. It's what I do best."
"Excellent! I'll go get Troy, you round up Terrence and Phillip."
I ran off to go locate Troy, but I didn't have to. He found me first.
"WELL WELL. WHAT KIND OF SECRET MISSION ARE YOU GUYS GOING ON? BOW-CHICKA-BOW-WOW!"
"Remind me why I gave you a sense of humour, again?" I said between gales of Troy's laughter. "Or why I built you at all?"
We were ready for the trip within two minutes. Endermen get everything very quickly, and always have the ability to go back to get anything we forgot.
"Sir! Where are we going?" Terrence asked.
"We're searching for the Great Dwarven Library. Well, more trying to get into then trying to find. I have a map. And once in there, I hope to find another map. One that will lead us to Skyhold."
"Wow! Skyhold! We'll be legendary!"
"We already are legendary, moron." Phillip replied. "Come on, sir. Skyhold doesn't exist. Not anymore, at least."
Rhea, as usual was being her Stoic self. "Even if Skyhold turns out to be bogus, there's still a wealth of information in that library. And knowledge is king."
"Thank you, Rhea." I said. "Alright, everyone grab hold of Troy, we're teleporting to the entrance of Butcherblock."
We all put a hand upon Troy and our group vanished in a purple flash. We reappeared (in another purple flash) at the gates to the fortress that contained the entrance to the Mountains. This fortress was Dwarven built, but unlike the others it was in excellent repair, and this one was crewed by the good guys. The banners of the Red City flapped proudly in the wind, and all over the walls men in shining armour kept vigilant watch, searching with eagle eyes for the enemy. I even spotted a Sylvan Elf.
We were, of course, allowed to travel through the fort to the ramp that led to the top of the plateau. Most people avoided looking at us entirely. Some even shied away. Probably for the best, though.
Rhea stopped us just as we were about to round the bend in the ramp. She peered around the bend.
"Just as I thought. The cultists have a fortified camp right at the entrance, built from an old Dwarven outpost. Those miniature catapults aimed right here make me think they're not welcoming visitors."
I nodded. "I think we should make things easier on the Red Knights. Troy, go knock. Rhea, Terrence and Phillip, follow me."
Troy turned and zipped out to the gates of the walls around the camp. I managed to hear one of the cultists say "What is that thing?" before Troy's voice overpowered the cultist's.
"RAY SET TO MAXIMUM DEMOLITION! EXTERMINATE!"
The blue ray lanced out and the gates (and the wall around it) were blasted to bits.
"Go!" I shouted, and myself and the four Endermen teleported into the encampment. Given that they were focussed on Troy, it was very easy to take out the cultists quietly, especially beings born of darkness.
It wasn't much of a fight to be honest. The cultists never even saw Rhea, and very few actually saw us. Only the leader of the camp actually put up a fight. The issue is, when I was about to engage him in single combat, like the hero of the story should, Rhea shanked him in the gut from behind.
"Hey! Rhea, that was my kill!"
"Oh? I didn't see your name on it."
"What? Why you little--"
"Guys!" Phillip interjected. "We can settle this later. All this commotion is sure to attract attention. The wrong kind of attention. The kind that is already dead and therefore difficult to kill. Shall we get on with it now?"
As we left the camp I said to Phillip "Y'know, for such a boring guy, you have a way of cutting through the crap."
"It helps to have no imagination, sir."
We teleported through the shadows, keeping away from plain sight. But the shadows in this place contain something even worse. We had to be careful, and even Ender care wasn't quite careful enough.
It was just as we caught sight of the Ravine that it happened. We appeared within the shadow of a plateau, and were met face-to face with a ghostly Dwarven apparition. The pale blue figure, its face twisted in endless pain, swung an equally ghostly axe at us. We avoided the swing, and all took a few steps back.
"Rhea, we'll keep it busy. Go!" I shouted as the spirit charged us again. Troy hovered well back, and Terrence Phillip and I dodged around its blows.
"Come on, Rhea!" Phillip yelled. As he shouted this, a purple crystalline dagger pierced the head of the spirit, which faded away.
"Remind me why we only brought one soul dagger?" Rhea asked. "I hate babying you idiots."
"We only had one soul dagger, Rhea!" Terrence said. "Although I would like more, they're pretty cool."
"Terrence, you think everything is cool." Phillip interjected.
"Ok, enough!" I said. "Rhea, I will file an acquisition form to get another the moment I get back. Now can we keep moving, please?"
"Thank you, sir."
I noticed a ledge upon the wall of the ravine, which I teleported myself and Troy onto. The floor of the ravine was nearly completely covered in ancient skeletons. Most of the skeletal hands grasped golden blades. Some of the skeletons, most at the end of the ravine, wore tarnished and pitted grey armour, carrying battle axes or hammers. I teleported down and, after determining whether or not there were any foes in there, called the rest to me.
"Ok, everyone. Let's split up. We can all see and hear each other no matter where we are, so there's nothing to worry about. We need to search the walls of this ravine very thoroughly for anything that seems odd. It may be our entrance."
We each spread out and searched very thoroughly. Each crack and crevasse was thoroughly explored, to no avail.
Eventually, I came to the final resting place of the Dwarven king. It was a sad sight indeed. The once great lord had his belly to the rock face. Based on his position, his last act had been clawing at the wall. He had died with his back to the fight, that much was obvious based on the golden blade wedged into the back of his skull.
I was about to turn away from the skeleton when I noticed something very strange. It was a mark in the wall. It looked natural to a point, but there was something strange about it. Then I realized what was going on. It was the position of the king at his death. He was reaching up the wall, as though clawing at it, trying to climb, or perhaps reaching for something. And the mark in the wall was just above the hand of the King's skeleton. The vaguely hand-shaped mark.
I reached out, snapped off the King's arm, and stuck it into the indent in the wall. Sure enough, the wall opened into a dark, webby corridor.
"Guys! I'm a genius!"
Troy, Rhea, Terrence and Phillip showed up near me, staring at the corridor.
"Wow, sir!" Terrence said. "How'd you find it?"
"Well..." I broke into an elaborate story involving an unsolvable puzzle and molecular composition of the wall and a bunch of impressive and science-related things.
Terrence was gaping by the end. "Wow sir, that's amazing!"
Rhea nodded. "I have to admit, even I'm a little bit impressed. A little bit. Now let's go!"
As Terrence and Rhea walked into the corridor, Phillip pulled me aside. "So how did it really happen?"
"The Dwarven King was reaching for a hand shaped hole in the wall at his point of death. I stuck his bony hand in the indent, the door opened.
"Now that's more like it."
Troy laughed as we walked into the dark corridor. Naturally, we could all see perfectly well. There were skeletons in here, but only Dwarven skeletons. None of those belonging to nether beasts.
"I think these Dwarves didn't die in battle. I think they locked themselves in and died of old age. Look, there isn't a mark on them. We kept walking, until eventually we came to a fork. Actually, a group of forks. We each took a quick look.
"IT'S A MAZE!"
"Indeed, Troy. If anyone finds the right path, contact me. I'll teleport to you and the rest can teleport to me."
We each split up and took a different path. I had my pickaxe at the ready, waiting for the chance to bash the head of anyone that impeded me.
But the first person I met wasn't someone to impede me, it was Rhea.
"Sir. It looks like our paths connect. I suppose I should accompany you."
I did my best equivalent of a smile at her. "How serendipitous. Shall we?"
We walked side by side through the maze. For the Dwarves this would have been a high ceiling. But being people of double the height, it was barely big enough for us. Especially Rhea, who was taller than me by maybe a foot. I'm only 65% Enderman, and thus only 8 feet tall rather than the standard 9.
We walked in total silence, as is the norm with Rhea. I found myself reminiscing about previous adventures with her and Troy and Terrence and Phillip. That turned out to be an issue.
Suddenly, Rhea's hand whipped out and stopped me from setting foot in the room I was just about to enter.
"Careful, sir!" I could see why she said that. At the end of our tunnel was a room that contained a large metal statue of a knight. It was fashioned in the same design as the Stormguard soldiers outside. A mourning statue. For those unfamiliar with the legend, I will explain here. The Mourning Statues are metal statues that look like a Dwarf with all skin and biological parts hidden behind stormguard armour. It was their general stance that gave them their name, with their axe blades against the ground and their heads down. And they come alive when any living thing comes near them, mostly to kill or chase them off. No one knows why they're there. They seem to have forgotten themselves. I personally think they're guards, but anyway....
"There's something... off about that room. I think we may have to defeat that Statue to continue on. You ready?"
Rhea nodded and took a pair of Endsteel Katar style daggers from her belt. "Let's do this."
The moment we stepped into the room, the statue lifted his head and lifted his axe into combat position. Rhea teleported out of sight immediately, so it went right for me. Of course.
He brought his axe swinging down, and I brought my pickaxe swinging up. He pushed down hard against my pick, we were caught in a blade-lock. Two artificial constructs of immense strength. The only difference is that I can teleport.
I teleported right behind the metal giant, his axe swinging through the air where once I was and lodging in the floor. As he attempted to pull it out of the floor, I lodged my pick into the giant's back. Rhea appeared on his outstretched arm and stabbed him through his eye slits in his helmet.
"Yes! Hah!" I yelled. The giant whipped around and knocked me into a wall with his massive arms.
I got up slowly, making sure he wasn't above me. It appears that a magic pick to the spine and a stab through the face isn't enough to kill one of those things. Rhea was leaping around the metal monster, jumping and avoiding its blows, striking out whenever she could. But no matter how many holes she made in the metal creature, it just wouldn't die. I watched it carefully, looking for something we could use to bring it down. Then, as it turned to swing at Rhea again, I got an idea.
"Rhea! Make horizontal stabs all around it's waist, meeting up at where my pick is stuck in!"
She nodded, and began the task. It took a while, given the difficulty added by the giant trying to kill her, but eventually she had made a row of horizontal dagger holes in the creature.
"Nice! Now, get ready! When I make my move, I need you to be behind it. You'll know what to do." I extended the blade from my right arm, and allowed energy to course through it. Once I had put enough heat in it, I ran headfirst toward the metal giant. It swung its axe down at me. I teleported to its hand, and chopped the axe's shaft. The axe head and 3/4 of the shaft fell to the floor, leaving the metal giant holding the remaining 1/4. I grabbed the immense axe and hurled it to Rhea, who caught it and swung the flat edge straight into my pickaxe.
The power of the blow, the magic power of my pickaxe, and the perforations Rhea had made all combined to deal the final blow, splitting the giant in two.
Rhea and I looked at each other over the fallen pile of metal, and she cracked a grin. "I'm actually impressed. That was a good plan."
"I'm the one who should be impressed." I responded. "Your agility and stamina never cease to amaze me."
"KISS! KISS! KISS!"
I turned to see Troy standing in the doorway. Terrence and Phillip were right behind him. "How long have you three been standing here?"
"Since Rhea started making the perforations." Phillip said. "We tried to come help, but Troy wouldn't let us."
"And why didn't you help us?" I asked Troy. I was now thoroughly exasperated. "A single blast from your demolition ray and we would have been on our way!"
"BECAUSE I HAD HOPED YOU TWO WOULD REALIZE HOW WELL YOU WORK TOGETHER."
Naturally I already knew how well Rhea and I work together. "We're wasting time. Now, this statue was obviously here for a reason. There has to be some kind of hidden door."
"Uh, sir?" I heard Rhea say. I turned to see her standing by a wall with the axe in her hands. She stuck the axe into a hole in the wall and rotated it like a key. The wall next to it swung open. "Come on."
We all walked through the room, Rhea closing the door behind us. We stood in what was quite obviously a library, covered in shelves full of scrolls. For a person like me, it was heaven. I quickly got out a few ingredients from my storage compartment and cast a beacon spell. This would allow other Endermen to safely teleport to this location despite never having come here.
"Terrence, Phillip, I want you two to go to the End and bring back lots of others to transport all these scrolls to the End. Immediately." They both nodded, and were gone in a flash of purple. "The three of us should split up and comb this place for the map to Skyhold. Let's go!"
We each separated and scoured the place. I was quite shocked at the speed with which Troy shouted "I FOUND IT!"
Rhea and I teleported to him, where we found the map sitting upon a stone pedestal. I motioned for everyone to stay back, and gingerly picked up and unrolled the scroll. It indeed showed a floating donut-shaped island. It sat within a valley in a horseshoe shaped mountain range. A small strip to the west showed a forest, and some grasslands. But the land within the horseshoe shaped islands was completely black. That's when it hit me.
"Oh Notch." I said quietly. "I know where Skyhold is. Think about it. What's the one place that no one in their right minds would ever search for a paradise? Somewhere no life dares live. Skyhold is in the Valley of Blight!"
"Oh Notch!" Rhea echoed. "It's so obvious! How did we not think of it before?"
"Because we all hate the Valley of Blight and have very good reason for believing nothing could live there. Come on, we're so close!" Rhea and I grabbed hold of Troy and teleported.
When we next looked around, we were standing on a seemingly endless plain of smooth black rock. Overhead, the sun beat down heavy. Fortunately, Endermen aren't bothered by heat. And Troy has coolant in his system, so he's fine. We looked around' and there was nothing but black rock as far as the eye can see. It's like standing out in the ocean if the ocean were made of black rock and obscenely hot.
"Come on." I said. "Skyhold's to the East." We marched for two hours before Troy called out "LOOK! THERE IT IS!"
Out in the distance, barely even visible with all the heat distortion, was a speck of land floating above the rest.
Rhea and I grabbed hold of Troy and teleported to the ground right near the island. It was huge! The land was indeed donut shaped, and floating high above the ground. But from underneath it was just bare grey rock, no sign of civilization at all. But there was a crater beneath the island, and in the center of the crater was a circle of stone pillars. They were once elaborately carved and standing tall, but have been knocked down and worn away by the ravages of time. But in the center there was a blue circle.
"I think that's the teleporter." I said to the two of them. "I'm going to go try to step on the teleporter. I think I'm the best option. You two stay here and wait for me."
"No way, sir." Rhea said. "I'm supposed to ensure your safety as well as kill stuff. I may not like it, but it is my job. I'm not letting you go up there without me."
"NOR ME. YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND, I'M STAYING WITH YOU. EVEN IF ONLY TO BUG YOU."
"I am your commanding officer. I order you both to stay here."
"That is a direct order, agent Rhea!"
Rhea stopped talking immediately, but her glare was more penetrating than her daggers. "Very well, sir."
I walked over to the circle, but I hesitated. If my heart isn't pure, I would be incinerated instantly. But what happens if you don't have a heart?"
I tentatively stepped onto the blue circle and vanished.
"Good luck, Eureka."
I looked around. I was surrounded by pale, sky blue. Totally featureless. I looked around, tried walking around, but there was nothing.
“Was I incinerated?” I called out to no one in particular. “Have I gone to join the Great Build?”
“No.” A voice said, seemingly coming from all around me. “You are not dead. You are being judged.”
“Oh… so, what’s the verdict?”
“I’m not sure yet. Your heart, yes you have one, is most certainly impure. I can see much in there. Hatred, anger, sadness, even fear. But there is much joy in there too. And a burning zeal to protect those close to you… but above all there is curiosity. And you certainly mean no harm to Skyhold. I suppose I will let you pass. Oh, that’s interesting, that’s very interesting!”
“What’s interesting?” The world around me started growing white. “Wait, what’s interesting?”
But to no avail. I was on Skyhold. And what I saw left me speechless.
Chapter 4: The Arrival
I yanked my pickaxe out of the spine of the cultist that lay dead at my feet. Around me, my soldiers were cleaning the blood off of their swords. “Nice work, gentlendermen. Time to move on to the secondary target. Move out!”
“Yes, sir!” They all replied in unison. Except for Troy, of course. He simply stood there beside me. “NICE MOVES, E.” He said.
“You weren’t so bad yourself.” I responded. It was true, of course, he had reduced the entire watchtower to rubble.
Rhea appeared beside me. “Sir, reporting in.”
“What are we looking at, Rhea?”
“It’s just as we thought, sir. The cultists have taken an ancient Dwarven fortress dug into the side of the mountain, and created rings of fortifications around it.”
“Well, good news, we’ve penetrated the first ring. What are the second and third rings looking like?”
“Well, the second ring is mostly composed of watchtowers like the first ring, with the addition of barricades and spikes. The third ring is composed of ruined Dwarven watchtowers and fortifications, as well as some camps.”
“Ok, good. How are the various companies progressing?”
“Well, you know how Alpha’s doing, you were just with it. Beta and Gamma have both assaulted the flanks and are drawing forces toward them and away from Delta, who has smashed through the first and second defensive rings but have ground to a halt at the third.”
“Excellent. We should thank Delta. Send the Wyrm riders in to support them. Also, tell them to capture and fortify a camp between the third ring and the fortress itself, and have them set up a beacon.”
“Yes, sir.” Rhea vanished again.
“COME ON, EUREKA! LET’S GO CATCH UP WITH ALPHA COMPANY! I WANT TO HAVE A LITTLE BIT MORE FUN BEFORE DELTA GETS ALL THE HEAVY LIFTING DONE.”
“Good idea!” I ran with him to rejoin Alpha Company, who was battling at the second ring.
Meanwhile, over at Delta Company’s position…
The Ender Wyrms smashed through the trees toward the ancient Dwarven gate. They look a bit like very large Komodo dragons with broad, horned heads (and of course black with purple eyes). Their riders wielded throwing axes and much larger battleaxes. Together, they blew through the ancient wall (and the cultists on top or behind it), opening a free path for Delta Company. Easily the most skilled at offense, Delta and the Wyrm Riders quickly commandeered an enemy encampment, and set up spiked barricades and the beacon.
Within a few moments, the other three companies were there. As well as the various siege weapons that had been lying in wait. “All right boys, let ‘er rip!” General Eureka yelled.
As one, the endcrystal cannons roared with black fire, and stones were flung with immense strength toward the fortress. The stones shattered against the fortress, just as the fortress crumbled from the stone’s impact, creating a shrapnel-like effect that took out many of the cultists up on the walls. Iron balls were then loaded, and fired upon the gate, which also buckled.
“Excellent! Now, enter!” Eureka yelled. as all the Endermen teleported inside, he said to Troy “Let’s go have some fun, pal.”
“RIGHT BEHIND YOU! HAHAHAHA!!!” They both charged, laughing like a couple of kids.
A short while later…
“The first level is cleared! Move up to the second level! Delta, main staircase! Beta, left staircase! Gamma, right staircase! Alpha, we’re going down!”
The Endermen made to follow his orders. Rhea appeared before him and Troy.
“There are some cursed soldiers up waiting for us on the third level.”
“Thank you, Rhea. There certainly have been a lot of them here.”
“Some people might read into that, Eureka.”
“Herobrine.” Eureka said as the shadowy figure appeared before him. “I was wondering when you would show. Rhea, go support Delta.”
“Now, Rhea.” She vanished.
“For a man of metal, you show a disgusting level of nobility.”
“WARNING! WARNING! NOOB DETECTED! EXTERMINATE NOOB!”
“Silence your little metal pet, Eureka, the more he talks the dumber he makes you seem.”
Eureka ignored that. “Your fortress is doomed, Herobrine.”
“What fortress? This is no fortress. This is bait, for you.” Herobrine waved his hand, and before Eureka could react, the ground beneath him glowed and revealed a pentagram covered in demonic symbols, glowing blood red. Eureka’s form began to flicker and fade, much like a malfunctioning TV. Then, in an immense flash of blue-white light, Eureka vanished. “Wait… what just--”
“YOU PENTAGRAMMED EUREKA! MAXIMUM PREJUDICE AUTHORIZED! EXTERMINATE!!!” The blue beam lanced from Troy and Herobrine was sent back to the nether amidst a large explosion.
Eureka’s eyes opened. He was somewhere… very light blue. It looked like a sky, but no clouds and no sun. And no ground. He was just floating. Or maybe standing. It’s hard to tell.
“Hello? Is there anyone there?”
“Yes, there is.” The voice seemed to come from everywhere at once.
“Who are you?”
“I am known as Eru Illuvatar to my people.”
“I see… so you are a king?”
“I am no ruler. I am a creator. A creator of my dimension. A dimension which I have blocked your kind from since the beginning. And I have taken the opportunity presented by your enemy to bring you here.”
“This… Herobrine, he attempted to send you to Limbo.”
“Oh Notch… thank you for rescuing me!”
“It was my pleasure. But I do hope you will do something for me in return.”
“And what would that be?”
“My world is considerable peril. An ancient evil threatens the freedom of my creations. And though I feel that it is possible for my children to win this fight, I would like to tip the scales slightly in their favour. I would like you to go to my dimension and help to fight the enemy of the Free Peoples.”
“Yeah, ok. I’ll do it.”
“Yes. Is that so surprising?”
“Well, I thought it would take a bit longer to convince you.”
“No. I simply used logic to determine whether I should accept. You saved me from Limbo, so I owe you. This enemy of yours is fighting against freedom, and I hold freedom above all else. And not to mention, it’s my job to explore new dimensions. So in a way, this is helping me.”
“Oh. Well, great! There are a few basic things you should know before you arrive there…”
A few hours of explaining later…
The air distorted around that one patch of peaceful air. Reality warped and twisted, and eventually it spat someone out. Said someone began falling down a hill. Hitting one rock, two rocks, three rocks, four rocks before eventually coming to a crashing stop in a puddle.
“YEEEEEEOOOOOOW!” The figure leapt up and began dancing around, trying to get the water off, as though it were causing him pain.When the most curious creature finally stopped dancing around, it looked around. And it saw many very short people with hairy feet.
“Ah, hello short ones! It’s always nice to meet a new species! Tell, me can any of you direct me to Mithlond? It’s a port city in somewhere called Lindon, which is near Ered Luin.”
Nobody responded. “Hello? Can you hear me? I’m fairly certain I’m speaking Westron. Are you all deafs? That would be interesting. You seem to have ears. I’ve never met a deaf species that still had ears. Well, I’m always up for new things!”
It looked around. “My, this place is so green! And there are so many flowers! Oh, it’s lovely. I should take a quick recording, we could use a spot like this in the Imperial City. Only without all of the irritating puddles. Water gets just about everywhere doesn't it?”
The Hobbits continue to stare at him, mouths wide.
“Hmm… well, I guess I’ll just start travelling in a direction and hope to meet someone I can communicate with. Nice meeting you all!” He strode off with legs taller than the Hobbits.
Chapter 5: Rangers and Dwarves and Orcs, Oh My!
Note: From this point forward I will be beginning each chapter with a short snippet of another adventure from another place.
The sands stretched on and on, farther than even their eyes can see. The only noticeable thing was the four strange black figures (one half white) digging through the sand.
“Have you found it yet?”
“No, keep digging.”
“Hey, I hit something!”
The three rushed over to the fourth, and pulled out some metal thing. “Finally! Wait, what’s that stuff it’s covered in?”
“Oh, some sort of spice the natives mine. hey, Terrence!”
“What?” Said another black figure.
“We found it!”
The four stared hard at the fifth.
“We went over this, Terrence! You’re not supposed to shout!”
The ground suddenly began to rumble, and in the distance, the sand was disturbed.
“That’s why! Everyone get out of here! Back to the ship!” The five strange figures vanish, just as an immense Sandworm comes barreling out of the sand toward the spot.
I continued walking toward the edge of the place called the Shire. Getting many frightened look from the Hobbits as I went. There really isn’t much to talk about here, I simply walked, day and night. Until one night, when I had passed into a forested area. That night, as I rounded a bend, I came face-to-face with the tip of a sword. A man in a green cloak was at the other end of it.
“I have been watching you for some time now. You do not tire, do not eat, and you look like nothing I have seen, and I have been as far east as Ithilien, and as far west as Lindon. Tell me, what manner of creature are you?”
“I’m a statue.” I replied, rehearsing the story Eru and I had worked on. “Or, was. You see, I’m quite an old statue, they found me in the Chetwood. Then, one day, Eru Illuvatar breathed a soul and life into me. This is a side effect of that.” He said, gesturing to his left size. “It’s come with a few useful powers, but a few drawbacks, too.”
“Can you prove this?”
“Actually, I can.” I pulled out a medallion and showed it to him.
“Very well. You can’t be a creature of Sauron if you wield such a symbol. You may pass, creature.”
“May I have your name?”
“I am Anduthuine, son of Adrathuine, Ranger of Ithilien.”
“And I am Eureka Enderborn, son of a long-dead sculptor, wanderer most confused.”
“Where are you trying to go?”
“Lindon. Eru told me that the Elves there would help me.”
“I see. Just go that way, you’ll come to the Blue Mountains eventually.”
“Ah! Thank you, Anduthuine. Goodbye.”
Much walking later, I came across another creature, once outside of the forest. Actually, several creatures, wearing mismatched armour. And they didn’t look friendly, not with those weapons. And not the way they were running toward me.
I would have extended my sword, but Eru told me not to use any of my more advanced abilities. And so I raised my fists and prepared to meet the creatures I now recognize as Orcs.
The first fell to a hook from the right arm, the second from a powerful dropkick (a signature of mine), and the third from a neck snapped from behind in a surprise teleport. And the other two? As I turned to take them out, I found them already dead, with arrows sticking from their heads. And in, the distance, I could clearly make out the ranger from earlier.
“Anduthuine! Have you been following me?”
“Indeed. I wanted to keep tabs on you.”
“You didn’t believe my story, did you?”
“It’s my job to be suspicious.”
“Hmm. You know a lot about this world, don’t you?”
“I know more of the practical things in life.”
“I could use a man like you. I’m lacking in knowledge of the practical things myself. Would you like to accompany me on my journey?”
“There’s an odd air to you, Eureka Enderborn. I can almost feel the fabric of fate weave itself around you. I think you might be able to use someone to watch your back.”
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
And so I travelled, marching on and on for a month with my new Ranger friend, and his friends. I acquired a sword and a bow from the Rangers, and learned much about the world from them. Eventually, the time came when the Blue Mountains reared up in the distance, and I allowed myself a moment’s private thought. My destination was close. And so were the Dwarves, who I had been told were a rather boisterous and loud people, though stalwart and loyal. This may be an… interesting experience.
More interesting than I thought, as it would turn out.
As we entered the mountains themselves, night began to fall. We began setting up camp (more for Anduthuine’s benefit than mine), Anduthuine peered into the food pouch.
“We’re out. I’m off to go find something to eat.”
I had just finished the fire and had begun setting up the tent when the gray clouds above released their liquid payload.
“YAAAAAAAAHHHR!” I fell over for a moment, before scrambling to his feet amidst intense pain. The only thought in my mind was to get under shelter. But the tent wasn’t up, and there were no caves or trees nearby. The only thing nearby was a trio of Gundabad Orcs with big clubs and warhammers.
I didn’t even notice the three as they approached. But I certainly noticed when they started pounding away at me with their hammers and clubs.
- WHAM WHAM WHAM*
I fell to the floor and scrambled back up, drawing my sword. I flailed wildly at one, but missed.
- WHAM WHAM WHAM*
My sword fell from his hands and he crashed into a rock. I got back up and hurled himself onto one of them, and successfully landed a punch that drove the Orc into a state of unconsciousness.
- WHAM WHAM*
Now this time there was a problem. A big red warning sign flashed up on my HUD:
WARNING: SYSTEMS OUT OF ALIGNMENT
As the two Orcs moved in to finish off my now-twitching form, I heard a whistling noise as a pair of small throwing axes wedged themselves into one of the Orcs, and an arrow into the other. Then, I went into shutdown mode so the self-repair systems could kick into gear.
When my systems booted up again, I was in a strange building made of blue bricks. I was on a bed, and next to me was Anduthuine and a Dwarf with a big red beard in blue armour.
“Ah, you’re awake. I’ve just been explaining the situation to this Dwarf who helped me rescue you. Eureka, meet Balgorod.”
“A pleasure!” The stout creature said. “Look, I’m sorry about the sleeping arrangements. We just don’t have any beds long enough to hold you.
“Oh, that’s quite alright.” I said, jumping off the bed. “I don’t sleep normally anyway, I was just recuperating.”
“Hey, Eureka, you got hit pretty hard, you should rest for a couple of days.” Anduthuine said.
“No, I’m fine. I could have beaten those Orcs if it weren’t for that darned rain.”
“What’s your issue with rain?” Balgorod asked.
“It’s a side effect of the life given to him by Illuvatar. Almost any liquid causes him pain.”
“Well, Anduthuine here told me of your rather unique situation.” Balgorod said with a smile. “Sounds to me like quite a lot of danger and high adventure. So I told my commander that you’d need an escort. And he agreed to have me come with you.”
“Excellent! Grab your things, let’s head out!”
“Wait, Eureka, I think we ought to stay here for a few more days.”
“I appreciate the concern, Anduthuine, but I’m fine.”
“If the man, er, statue says he’s fine, he’s fine. I’ll go grab my things!”
Five minutes later, we three adventurers set out from the fortress, marching up through the snowier regions toward Lindon.